with my leg as I tucked my face into the soft flannel fabric and cried.
“Violet?” My mother’s voice rang out from the living room. Of course. She had a key to the house. She had all our keys, and she always seemed to know when to use them.
“Hello,” I answered lamely as I sat up.
“Oh, my sweet girl—”
“Don’t. Please don’t be nice to me right now.” I managed to shove the words out through my closed throat. She grabbed the box, replaced the contents and set it aside. With a light push, she shut the door and sat next to me on the bed.
“Come here.” With arms held out, she waved me over. “And don’t tell me to leave. There is no way I’m going to let you be alone like this. I’m spending the night with you. My bag is in the living room.”
“Like what? I’ll be fine,” I lied. My voice sounded strained even to my own ears, and I could feel my shoulders start to shake as I spoke.
“I’ve got you. Just get it out before it eats you up. You can’t hide from feelings like this, Vi. They’ll wait for you around every corner until you face them head-on.” Her knowing eyes roved over my face as she gathered me close to her side.
“Okay, but don’t tell anyone,” I insisted as I collapsed against her. “Especially since I’m going to end up messing up your shirt real bad.” I sniffled as tears started to pour out of my eyes.
“I won’t say a word, darling.”
A knock at the door had me bolting upright.
“Oh no, I don’t want them to see me like this. I’ve spent the whole day fighting it,” I confessed.
“Like what? Like a woman who had her life upended? They’re practically grown men and they love you. They’ll understand.” She answered the knock for me. “Come in.” The door opened to Nick’s concerned face, with Finn following close behind.
“We heard crying.” Nick got a glimpse of me. “Oh, Mama.”
Finn’s face was made of stone. “I’ll fucking kill him.”
“No. You’ll do no such thing! Please. This is why I didn’t want you boys to see me like this. See? Mom, see?”
“You can’t protect us forever!” Finn shouted. “And we—we know he’s been hurting your feelings, saying asshole stuff to you, but we didn’t know how to fix it. We didn’t know what to do because it seemed like you didn’t want us to know about it, and we didn’t want to hurt you even more by saying something. Grandma, tell us what to do.”
“You don’t start with violence, even though it’s a valid feeling. Okay? I mean, I’ve wanted to pop him across his mean mouth a bunch of times—but I refrained. Violence is not the way.” she answered.
Finn blew out a sigh as the wind blew out of his sails, and he collapsed back on the chair in the corner. “I know, I’m just pissed. Sorry, Mom.”
“It’s okay,” I murmured.
“I get the urge, Finn. I do,” my mother interjected. “What he did was wrong on every single level a man can be wrong on, and I’m proud that you boys already know that. We’re going to be here for your mom tonight. And I’m going to be here for all of you just like always. This has been a tricky situation, and I’m afraid even I didn’t know how to handle it properly. And I’m an adult.”
Nick sat on the edge of the bed. “It’s okay to cry in front of us,” he said with that sweet smile that used to cross his face as a little boy.
“Yeah,” Finn added. “Especially since everything is out in the open now. You shouldn’t have tried to hide stuff from us. It was confusing.”
“I’m so sorry,” I murmured.
“I’m not mad at you,” Finn insisted. “Dad hasn’t been that great to me and Nick either. He pretty much forgot we exist, but I never say anything about it. Except when it’s my turn with Dr. Simon.” He shrugged.
“Poor Dr. Simon, juggling all of our feelings and unable to just force us to talk to each other and put them together.” My lame attempt at a joke fell flat.
Nick’s lips quirked up in a wry grin. “She told me every month I should talk to you about how I feel about the mean shit we heard Dad saying to you.”
“Yeah, she told me that too,” Finn confirmed.
“Well, crap. I guess I’ve been doing a horrible job of protecting you both.”