replied.
Rose: Congrats ☺
Jennifer: I can see your evil smile from California, jerk. Think you might find time to meet one of them before I have a litter and can’t distinguish names?
I felt a wave of guilt cross over me as I thought of how much time had passed since I’d seen her. I’d almost missed her wedding several months after Grant’s death in a bout of pure selfishness. I’d pushed through, and was thankful for it, because Jennifer had been there for me the majority of my adult life. I doubt she would have forgiven me.
Rose: A weekend after we open the center. I promise.
Jennifer: Please. I still need to know you. I love you, bitch.
Rose: Love you too.
I held my fingers over the keys, tempted to tell her about Jack. I typed a paragraph to let her know I was doing what she’d been praying for the last few years, but I deleted it word by word. I ignored the opening door of the break room until I saw Dean walk in.
“Dean,” I said, looking at him with a smile. He looked down at me, softness in his eyes. The same look he’d given me when I first met him almost twenty years ago. “Going into surgery?”
“Hysterectomy,” he said. “You?”
“Assist on gallbladder, and I’ll need this,” I said, shifting my eyes down to my coffee cup as I took a sip.
“It feels totally different when you’re in charge,” he assured me, pouring his own cup before he sat down next to me. I sensed Dean’s brief hesitation and already knew his question before he spoke. “Tell me about Jack.”
“I’ll kick her ass and then yours if you tell my father,” I said without hesitation. “She just can’t keep anything from you, can she? God, it’s like when you two got married I lost secrecy.”
“I’m persuasive,” he said with a chuckle.
I rolled my eyes. “And I’m sure I’ll get another niece or nephew out of it so I’m not griping.”
Dean sat back in his chair as smooth as ever as he looked at me with a devilish grin. “Tell me.”
I let out a harsh breath as my brother-in-law grilled me about Jack. I trusted Dean with my life and had no issue with the truth. Dallas knew that so I forgave her for telling Dean. He’d always been a bit protective over me. I looked to him after a few minutes of telling him enough of what he would want to know: that Jack treated me well, that he was truly the good guy he portrayed himself to be. I leaned in, knowing my next question may tell him more than anything else.
“Dean?”
I felt my chest tighten as I walked over to the coffee pot so he couldn’t read my nervous posture.
“If you hadn’t come back for Dallas, or if she’d been married to Josh when you got here and you were forced to move on—” I turned to meet his eyes, not wanting to miss a second of his reaction “—do you think you could have loved again? I mean, really loved? Like you love her?”
I saw the answer immediately and felt my lip tremble despite my best effort. Everything in me sank as he remained quiet for a long moment. My brother, who I loved more than anything in the world, refused to lie to me, and though I respected him for it, I felt my anger flare.
“Rose—”
“Don’t. Don’t worry about it. I need to go scrub in.”
Dean stood and blocked the door, a helpless expression on his face.
“It’s a different situation,” he offered in poor excuse.
“Bullshit,” I said, no longer able to mask my hurt. “The only difference is mine died and yours is alive—thank God for that—but how can you expect me to believe it, too? You two have pushed me so damned hard to move on, but if you couldn’t, how can you expect me to?”
“Rose,” he said again, his voice pained as he let me pass to open the door. I paused with my hand on the knob, feeling guilty for making him feel like shit for simply being honest. There was no other love for him than Dallas and never would be.
“I’m sorry I asked,” I said sincerely and plastered a forced smile on my face. “But you know what? You gave me the next best thing: Grant and Anna. I love them so much Dean. You gave me that.” I walked out just as the rest of the pain surfaced and burst