after Kara and I came in from the beach. I force-feed the memories back into it. Every awful, ignorant second. Every disgusting detail. I don’t stop until everything’s inside, festering like a pile of plague-infested rags. But so much worse because I can’t incinerate it all away. Nor do I want to, because those blindly simple moments could hold vital clues to getting her back.
It’s all I can think about. The flames of the wish are fed by the kerosene from my soul until my vision goes black. I’m going to die. If Kara is truly gone, I hope so.
But my heart is still beating. I’m still hemorrhaging with rage, throbbing with misery. I open my eyes, and I can still see everything. At least this place looks like a hellmouth now. Hades’s arrival took out all the windows. There’s shattered alabaster everywhere. I yearn to crush it to dust.
And now, thanks to me, torrents of rain are soaking everything. A spear of lightning bisects the deck. It might be impressive under different circumstances. Like if I were making love to Kara instead of grieving her abduction.
Right now, all I want to do is howl until the rest of the roof comes down. Hurl my fists through the walls that are still upright. Most of all, wrap all my fingers around Rerek’s neck. But the traitorous shit, along with the rest of his freakish friends, dissolved along with Hades and Kara.
Dissolved to where?
My throat convulses as I yearn to thunder the question at Jaden. But his face is gaunt. His eyes are bloodshot. Clearly his imagination is consumed by the same visceral terror I saw in Kara on the beach. His mouth moves as if he wants to bellow things too.
The waves on the shore worsen as I endure another slam of helpless fury. I don’t try to tame the breakers, but I don’t claim a shred of satisfaction from them. They’re the same as the lightning and rain. Products of my rage, not partners in it.
My only true partner has been stolen. Ripped from me by the hell scum whom I made the mistake of underestimating. In his wake, Jaden and I stare at nothing but half-soaked floors littered with broken plaster and discarded party flutes. He’s already on the move after shakily testing whether he can, rushing into the area being pelted by the rain. “Nothing,” he groans. “There’s literally nothing here!”
I wish he were wrong. But if the gods can move around entrances to their beachside bar like balls under a cosmic sorcerer’s cup, then Jaden is likely right. We’re really just standing here in the sideways rain with nothing but statuary shards for clues.
Clues I start gathering as fast as I possibly can, dropping to both my knees to do so. “Help me.” I nod toward another pile of the white wreckage. “We have to salvage as much of it as we can.”
“Why?” Jaden challenges, though not enough to disobey me. Thank God, because I’m stumbling through a nightmare right now, guided by nothing but my desperate dread. Wondering if I’ll ever wake up.
Kara.
I vocalize the thought too, pushing it out in an adoring whisper. I imagine she’s still here as I cup her face, holding her firm for my deeper penetration…
Kara, sweetheart. Hold on.
I don’t give that one any volume. The plea is as lame as it feels. Hold on to what? And where? So much I don’t know. So much I can’t do.
Waves are crashing closer and closer. The destroyed balcony will be driftwood before dawn. And a deeper reality sets in that I have to actually accept this into my brain as fact. She’s gone. Truly gone. In my blood, I already know she’s been taken someplace that won’t be easy or even possible to find.
“Maximus. Hey.” Jaden’s inflection is a clear indicator he’s on repetition five or six of the hail. He clutches the top of my shoulder. “Recalibrate, man. Hell really doesn’t wait for anyone. We’ll get her back.”
His drizzle of veiled hope provides a much-needed shot of energy for my body and hope for my heart.
But… “How?”
“No idea, but I’m guessing you’re going to need some help. We can try to glue this place back together, but I don’t think it’s going to get us much closer to finding her.”
A sliver of hope is better than none, and clinging to it is the galvanizer I need right now. Time is of the essence.
I scramble in my pocket for my truck