between otherwise terrible circumstances. Worst of all, Kell’s. I can’t seem to dislodge her dilemma from my thoughts—or my soul. I feel like a rabbit that’s dodged a wolf, only to turn around and see the beast has sunk its teeth into someone truly dear to me.
I have to help stop the bleeding. No matter how helpless I feel about it now.
When I turn, I’m almost taken aback. My sister’s simply thumbing through her social feed, seemingly lost in the glare of technology.
“Hey,” I venture softly…timidly.
“Hmm?” Kell’s still only half here. Or so she wants me to think.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Why?”
I tilt my head. “Kell… Mom’s gone. You can cut the act.”
She finally looks up. “I’m fine, okay? We knew this was coming.”
“Not with Arden, we didn’t.”
“Kara—”
“This is my fault.”
“Kara.”
“You have every right to be furious with me.” I pause a beat, debating whether to voice the plan that’s already been forming in my brain. “We need to figure out a way to get you out of this.”
Her laugh is dry, maybe even bitter. “Just stop there, okay? They’re not going to let us both off the hook. And I doubt Zeus has any more sons in LA. If you find out differently, let me know. I’ll be more than happy to seduce one of those fine boys into getting me out of this.”
“I didn’t seduce Maximus.”
At once I regret the defensiveness in my tone, but I’m finding it hard to hold much back lately. Especially with Kell. For the first time in my life, I almost feel like I could trust her with every confidence. Almost.
Which is why I still keep a few thoughts to myself. In the deepest, darkest parts of myself.
Did I actually seduce Maximus?
Maybe. But only a little…
Kell releases a tired sigh and traces the piping along the sofa’s arm. “Whatever. Doesn’t really matter, right? He’s obviously madly in love with you. I doubt I could pull that off as quickly anyway.”
That renders me quiet, because acknowledging that she could be right aloud is its own kind of terrifying. All my life, I never imagined love was in the cards for me. If I’d been forced into Arden’s bed, forced to give him children, I’m certain love would have nothing to do with it. Hell, maybe that’s why my mother wants no part of the stuff. She’s all instinct now, no sentimentality.
But with Maximus, I’m starting to think it’s possible. In those blissful moments when we were tangled up in his bed, whispering promises and adorations, and when we were so lost to our passions we were no longer ourselves, I almost let myself believe our connection could be love.
The perilousness of our situation should make it easier to confess everything he makes me feel. But I can’t bring myself to say the words or even take stock in them. Because with all our tomorrows so uncertain, what if loving him is the most selfish thing I could possibly do? What if saying the words means he’ll start loving me back? Worse, what if he doesn’t say it back?
There’s an answer that’s easy to grasp.
Because it’s too soon and this has been such a crazy pace of feeling and passion and risking everything to have more of it.
But would I have made the sacrifice for any other reason? If I didn’t love him, how could I have come this far with him…and he with me?
“What’s he like?”
Kell’s question has me blinking out of my frenzied thoughts. “Maximus?”
“No, dummy. Arden. I met him at the fundraiser at Alameda, but it was really brief. I have no idea what he’s like. And we’re having dinner tonight, so I’d appreciate knowing what I’m getting into.”
I clench my jaw, biting back the hateful things I truly want to say. I’m not giving up on getting Kell out of this, but if she’s resigned to her fate with him already, maybe painting him in the worst possible light isn’t the best choice. I struggle to isolate his best qualities. Or even one.
“He’s not hard to look at.”
She grins. “I gathered that for myself.”
“All right, well…you obviously can’t trust him.”
Her dark brows draw together. “In what ways?”
All of them.
That stays inside. Aloud, I phrase it more diplomatically. “He’s smart,” I tell her. “Dangerously smart and dangerously perceptive. I honestly don’t think there’s any outmaneuvering him, so remember that. Everything is strategic. A power play or careful negotiation, whether you realize that’s the game you’re playing or not.”
Remarkably, her posture relaxes. “Okay.