a night off tonight. That was embarrassing for some reason.
Jack was internationally famous and in demand. It's not like we wouldn't spend nights apart now and then...
Maybe I was a little masochistic, but I just needed to breathe, to push Jack one step away from me so I could get a better look at the whole picture. It felt kind of like pushing a square peg into a round hole, but sensible for some strange reason. He might flee and that would mean the end of a potentially life-long beautiful thing.
God, I was being so overdramatic and overly serious. Or maybe I wasn't. I couldn't decide—and that was scary as hell.
Take a break. It was all I had. Let it rest until the deal is done and then see what happens. I would tell Jack tomorrow.
I fell asleep more terrified than I ever had been in my life.
***
Sam was cool-headed the next morning. He actually apologized for being so harsh the previous day, blaming it on his futile attempt to kick caffeine cold turkey. Today, he was holding a cup of coffee and everyone around him couldn't have been happier about it.
And he noticed the flowers in the trash. I guess my symbolic efforts had been successful. "Did you even figure out who those were from?" he asked solemnly after bringing them up.
"Nope. The mystery died with those beautiful flowers. I'm not concerned anymore. I don't have time for that in my life right now."
He let out a laugh that was distinctly Sam. "God, that's so weird. I wish somebody would anonymously send me stuff."
Honestly, he seemed to be quite pleased that I was treating the matter as closed. "You just wait," I said.
Sam joked around with me all morning, quite possibly more than he ever had before. Everything was something to be made fun of, whether it was a person, or a process, or something other than those two things.
"You're on fire, Sam," I said before I left for lunch. "Did you get good news today or something?" I guess it was actually possible that Jack had already wrapped it up last night—but it seemed unlikely. If that was the case, it sure would make my day a lot easier.
"Nothing. That guy is pissing me off. He won't return my calls. I'm trying not to worry about it."
"Yeah, that's for the best," I said, knowing that I really didn't know anything.
I headed to a coffee shop and just got a spinach and feta croissant. I ate and sipped coffee as I prepared to call Jack. I wanted to get this part over with as quickly as possible, like ripping off a band-aid instead of coping with the agony of a slow, hair-tugging removal.
The call initiated, I sat in silence, my stomach doing back flips. Why was I so worried? I just wanted some space until the deal was over. It would be better for both of us because obviously he wasn't working out the hard details while we were in bed together. Oh God, I wanted that really badly...
Jack picked up after several rings, his voice far more gruff than it usually was. "Hi, Effie," he said immediately.
"Jack, what's up?" I asked as a primer.
"I literally just got out of the studio like an hour ago. I'm totally fucking exhausted."
"What the hell happened?" I was still concerned even though I felt like I was pointing a loaded gun directly at his beautiful face.
"We had limited studio time and things just went over. This place is great, but it's always overbooked. I'm sorry I wasn't around for lunch. Shit, I need a nap." His sentences were coming out in short, random bursts.
Well, my plan had been thwarted before I could even give it a good shot. "That's rough."
"Do you want to do dinner or something? I'll call you after I wake up."
"Maybe," I said. "I've got some stuff to take care of." I was only sort of lying.
"Oh yeah? Anything cool?" he asked.
"Jesse's girlfriend was going to stop by and watch a movie. I don't even know what movie, but she's pretty cool." Now I was actually lying and it made me feel awful. "She wants to meet you."
"Okay, no big deal. And that would be fine. We can go on a double date or something."
I laughed. "They can't afford the places we go."
"It'll be my treat," he said predictably. It was predictably in the best possible way, however. Nothing to actually complain about. "But I'm barely awake, so I'll