you’ll be playing and traveling next season and with the bar going to be mine, the fall will be a crazy time.”
“Yeah, but our friends don’t need to buy us stuff. I can do all that.”
“Well then you kit out your place however you want, and I’ll have them buy gifts for me.”
He scowls at me, and I take the gun. He’s been grumpy since we stepped foot into the baby store. And yes, I realize I’m out of my mind for doing this so soon, but everything I said is true. And Debbie thought it was a great idea. I can start a list now and add to it or change it, but it’s giving me ideas on how much space I’ll need for my new place or what I don’t need two of.
“Come on. Let’s go look at cribs.”
His grumpy attitude is putting a pall on my day and frankly, he’s the one who said we’d go together. I’m not sure what’s messing with his head today, but I’m over it.
We reach the cribs and I start wandering, checking price tags more than checking the style. I need something for the baby to sleep in, not a fashion statement.
Next to me, Sebastian runs his hand down the top of an elegant, cream-colored crib that looks like it belongs in a palace.
“When is your next appointment?”
His question comes about of left field. “Two weeks, why?”
He looks at me, meeting me dead-on in such a way his eyes turn and I realize then what’s been bugging him.
And a part of me is annoyed.
A part of me hurts for him.
He’s probably had trips to the store or listened to a woman become so excited and ramble on about gear and the like. This isn’t his first time talking with a woman about having a baby.
I look away before he can see how much that hurts, even if it’s ridiculous.
“I’d like to be there with you.”
I nod. “Sure. I’ll double-check the date to see if it’s when you’re going to be in town, but of course you can come.”
Walking toward another row of cribs, I’m no longer seeing anything but blurry floor and furniture.
He trails the other side, and both of us go quiet. This is not the day I envisioned.
“We should go,” I say, stopping abruptly. “There’s no point in being here. It’s too soon and early and well, dumb I guess.”
He eyes me warily. “Okay…”
“Okay then.” I spin on my heels and head toward the entrance where I stash the little gun back in the registry area and decline printing out what we registered for. Hitching my purse over my shoulder, Sebastian and I walk out toward the parking lot toward his car.
“What happened in there? You were enjoying it.”
“It didn’t seem like you were.”
“Gigi.” He sighs and takes my hand and the last place I want to have this conversation is in the middle of the parking lot. “It’s early and it’s scary and I keep worrying something’s going to go wrong and we’re getting our hopes up here and well… yeah… that was a little much.”
“Our hopes up?” My brows rise as I ask and he flinches.
“Because you’ve had so many disappointments with Madison you don’t want anymore.”
He gives me a look that both crushes my heart and makes me ache for him.
“And maybe I’ve been kicked around enough when it comes to babies and pregnancies and hopes dashed that all of this… it just makes me nervous.”
My frustration eases. I’m forgetting I have no idea what roller coaster he’s been on for the last few years. And I saw him in the immediate aftermath. I need to be more aware of that.
He’s still healing, even if he’s moving on with me.
“Everything will be fine this time.” I take his hand and press it to my stomach. There’s only a bump at night before bed, and it just looks like I ate a massive Thanksgiving meal. “I swear it. The baby is healthy.”
His lips roll out and then in. “I also don’t like having to buy two of everything.”
“Why not?”
His hand at my stomach slides to my hip and he pulls me close. Too close for public. Still, my heart races. “Because I don’t like thinking of us doing this separately. I don’t like the idea of you being alone with our baby. I don’t like the idea of not being with you and him or her.”
“Ohhhh.” Is that why he’s been so grumpy? Because I keep saying