messing around to living together in a matter of months. And I don’t want that just because I’m pregnant either.
Plus, there’s so much that could happen before this baby is born. But there is no doubt, this baby is being born, assuming nothing bad happens over the next eight months.
On the couch, Bruiser sighs and stretches. He chased my ankles and my pacing for the first thirty minutes and then, with his little pink tongue lolling out of his mouth, decided a nap was a better use of his time. I’ve gone pee twice. Chugged two bottles of water and then dug through Sebastian’s pantry for some crackers. I’m not nauseous, at least not majorly but too much water on an empty stomach doesn’t feel so great these days.
My doctor assures me it’s normal, and only the beginning.
I just pray this isn’t the beginning of the end for Sebastian and me.
This potential tailspin of a day would have been so much more comfortable if I could have done it at my place, but it’ll be easier to do it here. If he breaks my heart, I can leave.
Besides, if this is to be my last time welcome here, I wanted to see his home one last time. As it is, I’ve gotten here early enough, already being given his security code before. In all my pacing, I’ve taken a trip through the house. And I can’t help imagining being here. With Sebastian. Our child.
Raising him or her together.
Tears burn my eyes as I drop my hand to my stomach. There’s nothing there, not yet, but I’ve found myself doing it a lot this week.
I’m having a baby. My vision blurs and I swipe my tears with the back of my hand.
God. This is so amazing and so horrible. My stomach churns as I anticipate Sebastian’s arrival. If his plane arrived on time at one, he should be home any minute. I head to his hall bathroom to clean up, splash water on my face. If he sees my red eyes and dried tears, he’ll instantly know I have bad news to share.
“Oh God,” I groan, hands grip the edges of the porcelain vanity sink. If there’s ever a time to throw up, it’s now. I hold it back, and inhale slowly until the feeling goes away and until my legs don’t tremble like a newborn fawn.
Once I’m feeling steadier, I run my hands through my fingers. I actually attempted to look decent today, full face of makeup. My hair has been blow-dried and hangs past my shoulders unlike my usual do of pulling it back from my face. Now it’s just clipped with a small clip at the side, holding it back.
I look as good as I can be. If only I felt the same.
In the distance, Bruiser begins yapping and my stomach does another roll of unease. By the time I’m back in the entryway, Sebastian is walking through, suitcase being pulled behind him, suit coat draped over one arm.
He jerks his head in his eyes widen as he notices me. “Well hey! This is a nice surprise!”
He drops his suitcase and places his coat on top, coming immediately to me and when he reaches me, he doesn’t waste a moment to press his hands to my cheeks and his lips to mine. I inhale his scent, revel in his taste. His beard scratches my lips and my cheek as he takes the kiss deeper. On instinct, I curl my hands around his forearms to hold him close to me.
Man. This guy can kiss. I savor it in case it’s my last and when Sebastian wraps an arm around my lower back, pressing me even closer to his body, I settle into everything. Until I feel his hard length against my stomach and a deep rumble of delight rattles deep in his chest.
“Sebastian,” I breathe against his mouth and pull back. “We should stop.”
“No. We should take this to my room. I’ve been thinking of you and now I finally have you.”
Oh goodness. Pleasurable shivers dance down my spine as I fight against them. This is what got us into this mess.
Summoning all my strength, both internal and external, I place my hand to his chest and push back. His heart is racing. Almost as much as mine.
I love that I can do this to him. Love that he likes being with me so much.
“We need to talk.”
As if I’ve burned him, his hand falls from my back and