H’nah is sure to scream with anger. “I have been harvesting my own leaves.” I pick up the pack I have hidden behind vines, and demonstrate it. “I will wear this, so even if I fail and he devours me, he will still be drugged.”
No one says anything.
I look over at H’nah. She clenches her jaw and glares at me, but her eyes are deceptively shiny and I know she is upset.
“Either way, you must leave this valley when the moons are high,” I say. “Tell the others of Old Grandfather, and tell them to avoid this place. We must skirt wide until he is eliminated, or it will be very dangerous.”
T’shen nods. “We will be careful.”
I take my cloak off and put my second pack on, strapping it around my waist so it does not move. H’nah’s arms are crossed and she says nothing, simply watching me. I move to her side and put my cloak over her shoulders, touching her short, bouncy braids. She is beautiful, my mate, and this time with her is the happiest I have ever been. I smile at her and then take my spear in hand once more. My grip is slippery, and my skin prickles as doubt rises in my gut.
I was not able to save N’dek because my aim was not true. Tonight, I must think first, act second. My H’nah and my kit depend on it. I cannot fail them.
“That’s it?” H’nah says behind me, her words choked. “I don’t get a kiss goodbye?”
I turn to my mate.
She steps forward, hurt on her face underneath the attitude.
I touch her chin, tracing a finger along her jaw. So soft, my H’nah. So lovely. “You do not get a kiss goodbye because this is not goodbye,” I tell her, and hope I am not lying.
“Then let’s do a kiss for luck,” she says. “I don’t care what we call it, all right? Just kiss me already.”
I cup the back of her neck and ease my body down toward hers. Before our mouths can meet, she grabs my braid and yanks on it, tugging me down roughly against her and pushing her lips to mine with such fierce enthusiasm that my body responds. I clench my fingers in her mane, savaging her mouth with mine as I give her a hard, fierce kiss that tells her exactly how I feel about her. How much she has my heart. How much I want to be at her side for the rest of our days. My tongue slicks against hers with sure, possessive strokes, and when I finally break the kiss, she staggers, her eyes dazed, her mouth pink and swollen from my lips.
“Be careful,” she whispers. “You didn’t fail N’dek, and you won’t fail me.”
My heart aches. She knows just what to say. I touch her jaw one more time, ready myself, and then head out of the cave and into the icy night.
21
J’SHEL
Once I go outside, I am surprisingly calm. I thought I would be nervous, the anxious, crawling feeling of anticipation under my skin. I thought that the cold would bite at me, and that terror would gnaw at my belly.
But I am at peace.
My H’nah will be safe. I will protect her. The cold bites, but it is not so bad. My grip on my spear is firm, and I am unafraid. Whatever happens this night, I will save my H’nah. Nothing else matters.
I gaze out at the valley, surveying it. The night is calm, the weather clear and cold. The stars are just now coming out, the skies a deep, dark blue. I remember entering this valley many days ago and the snow was a pristine blanket over the ground, smooth and unblemished.
Old Grandfather has changed things since he arrived.
Dead dvisti and other creatures litter the ground. Some are half-buried in old snow, and some carcasses are fresh and glitter with newly frozen blood. All are mangled. Bones and broken legs stick up from the icy waste, and the pale ground is mottled with dark stains. The too-sweet smell of old dead things hangs in the air.
I must avoid all of that so my camouflage does not ripple as I move and draw attention to myself. The smartest thing will be to follow the walls of the valley, to cling to the rocks, but it will mean moving slower and taking a longer way around.
So be it.
I move down the icy ledge to the ground, and inwardly wince when my