expensive and something I was in exactly no position to do myself. I probably would have ended up throwing away the majority of my possessions.
“Of course.”
I was ridiculously relieved at that prospect. “Thanks.”
He pulled his hands out of his pockets and reached for me. He brushed back a stray hair that had gotten missed when I had redone my ponytail. The way he was looking at me twisted my gut.
“You realize if you take this position, we can’t date,” he said.
“That was an option?” I asked. Sex, sure. But dating? I hadn’t thought that was on the table given his request for discretion. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to date Brandon. My life was a mess. It was a really bad time to try to start a relationship. Especially with a slightly grumpy guy with a complicated life and children.
He looked surprised by the question. “Well, I don’t know. Maybe not. Probably not, with you cheering. But definitely not if you’re my nanny. I can’t risk confusing and upsetting the girls.”
“So my options are to not date you and have no job, or to not date you and have a nanny job?”
“Yes. With the first option, even sex is a question mark. We would have to be very discreet.”
There it was again. “You know how I feel about that word. It’s just another word for dirty little secret and I kind of hate it.”
“Do you have to put it that way? It’s just my life is complicated and I don’t want a bunch of online bullshit. Or bullshit from my players if they know I’m having sex with a cheerleader. It’s just too hard to keep my private life private unless we’re really private.”
I understood where he was coming from. I wasn’t selfish. I knew his family, job, and reputation came first. “I get it. To be brutally honest, I don’t want people to know either. If it was an actual relationship, sure, but I don’t want to be the cheerleader just banging the coach. I’m not twenty-two anymore.”
He misinterpreted my meaning and got sidetracked. “You banged the coach when you were twenty-two? Who? Padlowski? That guy is ancient. Oh my God.” He rubbed his chest, like the thought pained him.
“What? No! That is not what I meant. I did not have sex with the previous coach. I just meant my life is a mess and I’m trying to get it together. I don’t want anyone to know what we’re doing, that’s all, because I don’t need to be judged. I’m trying to be responsible. I’m trying not to be impulsive. For once. Well. I mean, aside from having sex just now. But that was your fault.” Damn it, learning to be responsible was a process. I was getting there step by step.
He didn’t say anything, just nodded. “I accept full responsibility for that. Even though you clearly picked out your clothing this morning with the sole purpose of torturing me.”
Guilty.
“What if I’m in your apartment, living with you?” I asked. “Would we be pretending we’re not going to have sex? Or would we just admit it and get right to it instead of dancing around it for three weeks before finally ripping each other’s clothes off?”
“I say we admit it. It would actually be much easier to be discreet if we’re living together, don’t you think? Midnight meetups? It would be hot as hell.” He wrapped an arm around my waist and dropped his gaze to my lips.
“You think it’s less risky at home than at the office?” I wasn’t sure I was buying that, but it was his apartment, his children.
“Absolutely.”
“Let me think about it.”
His jaw dropped.
I laughed. “I’m kidding.”
He gave a sigh of relief. “You’re hilarious, did you know that? Very entertaining.”
“I’m a good time,” I said, kissing him briefly, teasingly.
“Oh, I know. And you like parties and sushi and donuts.” He nuzzled into my neck.
“We need to go downstairs,” I told him, before he got carried away again.
“I really wish the girls weren’t in the building.”
“You don’t always get what you want,” I said. “But sometimes instead you get exactly what you need.”
I meant it flippantly.
But Brandon pulled back and gave me an intense look. “Yeah. Sometimes you do.”
His tone made me shiver.
That was a dangerous tone.
It made me feel that if I wasn’t careful, I could fall for Brandon Macnamara.
Which would be a serious personal foul.
Chapter Nine
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Elijah asked me as we stood in the very back