and when I tried it with a six instead of an eight I got a really lovely elderly woman in Seattle who thought I was her granddaughter. My donuts arrived while she was telling me about her embroidering altar cloths for church. I gave her an occasional “uh-huh,” and let her rattle on as I chewed on a glazed donut and made fresh coffee.
Eventually she wound down and I said I had to go and she told me she loved me. I had no choice. “I love you, too, Grandma.”
Hell, it could be her last day on earth. I couldn’t shatter her world and not have her granddaughter return the sentiment.
I called Isla, who lived irritatingly far away in Brooklyn with her boyfriend, Sean. Otherwise, I would have shown up on her doorstep. “Hey, I’m going to send you a picture of a phone number written down and then I want you to tell me what numbers you see,” I said when she answered. “I tried to text what I thought it was and it was the wrong number. Hang on.”
It took a second, but I quickly sent the note from Brandon to Isla, then put the phone back to my ear. “So what do you think?” I rooted around the kitchen countertop for a pen and another random scrap of paper. For some ridiculous reason I didn’t want to mar Brandon’s note with scribbles and attempts to decode his phone number.
“It seems your Valentine’s Day out on the town with Elijah was a success,” she said. “Since you got some dude’s number.”
“It was carriage rescue man,” I said. “I literally ran into him, splashing his drink all over myself. We had a lot of fun.”
“Naked fun? Or just hanging-out-at-the-bar fun?”
“Naked fun.” I sighed, hearing the dreamy quality to my voice, and not caring about that one single bit. “He left super early though and I wasn’t really awake or I would have had him put his number in my phone. Now I’m left trying to interpret his terrible handwriting. Maybe he’s a doctor.” I studied the phone number again. Frankly, half the numbers could be interpreted in at least two different ways.
“You don’t know what he does for a living?”
“Um, no. I didn’t get around to asking that. We just kind of jumped into bed. He did mention he has two daughters though. He’s divorced and has full custody.”
“Whoa. That’s complicated. Most parents don’t get full custody. The ex must be a nutbag or something. Are you sure you want to get involved in something like that?”
“I’m not trying to marry him,” I said, annoyed. I didn’t want her to kill my vibe. “I would just like to repeat the four orgasms I had last night. We had fun together. As I mentioned.”
Fun seemed such a pale word for getting down and dirty with each other.
“Well, here’s both my and Sean’s consensus on what that phone number is. I showed it to him and we’re in agreement with each other.” She recited a number.
She thought it was the same number I originally texted. “Nope. That belongs to a dirtbag stranger who asked me to send nudes.”
“Oh. Hmm.” There was a pause. “Do you think it’s possible he gave you a fake?”
That thought had occurred to me and I hated it with the burning heat of a thousand suns. That thought sucked. A lot. “Why would he bother? He could have just rolled out of here before I even woke up. It was like five in the morning.”
“Because guys don’t want to seem rude. So they lie. It’s stupid, but it happens. Why did he have to leave so early anyway?”
“He said he had to get home before the nanny woke up.”
“Why?”
This was not how I had pictured this conversation going down. “I don’t know! Maybe she’s judgmental. Maybe it’s her day off. It is Saturday, after all.”
“Or maybe nanny is just another name for girlfriend.”
That had never even entered my head and I was seriously annoyed that Isla had put such a cynical idea in my mind. “I hate you,” I told her. “And I refuse to believe that until I have proof otherwise.”
“Sorry, just trying to consider all possibilities.”
“I don’t like that possibility.”
“I guess it doesn’t matter, because you’ll never see him again.”
“Ew. Harsh.” I tossed my half-eaten donut down on the kitchen counter. “That’s very disappointing.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You don’t sound sorry. You sound like a woman with a boyfriend who thinks I’m being dumb.” I sipped my coffee,