be all right.”
Tia dropped the sketchbook onto the wheeled table next to the bed and hugged me. Darn it. Her gentle squeeze released the tears I’d fought to keep in, and I blubbered all over her.
“You weren’t weak,” Emmy said. “You were stuck in a difficult situation, and the only way you could see out of it took time. If Billy hadn’t fucked with your plan, you’d have sorted things out on your own.”
If only I truly believed that. Emmy had more confidence in me than I did in myself.
“Is that what you would have done?”
“Honestly? No. But everyone’s different, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The world would be a boring place if people all acted the same.”
“What would you have done?”
At first, I thought Emmy wasn’t going to answer, given the long pause, but then she smiled faintly.
“Billy would have had higher medical bills than you did.” She cleared her throat and changed the subject. “I don’t suppose you remember the detective’s name, do you?”
How I wished I could, but I barely remembered his face, his voice, or anything else about him either. Apart from the chewing. “I don’t recall, but he must have gotten through five pieces of gum while we were talking.” The squishy sound echoed in my head, and that loosened a memory. “Uh, I think his name began with a J, or maybe a G.”
Detective J... Gah! I couldn’t quite grasp it.
“No worries. I’ll head out and talk to people, and we’ll get this sketch circulated. Tia, you stay here, okay? Keep Lara company. Any problems, call me, yeah?”
“Got it.”
I lay on the bed when the door closed, drained. How could a policeman be stalking me? Didn’t they take an oath to protect people?
“Are you okay?” Tia asked.
“Not really.”
Once, I’d have brushed off her question with an “I’m fine,” or “Everything’s great,” but at that particular moment, I was too tired to put on a brave face.
“Emmy’ll sort everything out. Don’t worry.”
“I feel terrible about this. Causing all this trouble. I barely even know Emmy, and she’s running around trying to fix up my mess.”
Tia shrugged. “It’s what she does.”
“How do you know her?”
The friendship between Emmy and the young girl seemed an unlikely one.
“She used to date my brother, but now she’s more like my sister.”
“I wish I had a sister. Or any family, really.”
“Emmy says you can choose your own family if you don’t like who fate gave you. So I picked her. She’s helped me through so much shit in the last year. She’s awesome.”
“Being able to choose your own family sounds like a lovely idea.”
“Do it then. Why not? Emmy always tells me to grab every opportunity with both hands. She wants to die knowing that she’s lived.”
I wanted that too. More than anything, I didn’t want to wake up in fifty years and imagine what might have been. The safe option might help me to avoid heartbreak, but what was the point if I felt nothing at all?
And I wanted Nick. My heart knew it, and now my head knew it.
“I need to talk to Nick,” I muttered.
Would he accept my apology? I’d never hoped for anything as much as I hoped for his forgiveness.
“You want to borrow my phone?” Tia offered.
“Could I?” I didn’t know where mine was. In the ruins of the Ferrari, most likely. “Do you have Nick’s number? Or Emmy’s, even?”
She tapped on the screen and passed the phone over. “It’s ringing. For Nick.”
His voice crackled through seconds later. “Tia?”
“It’s Lara.”
“Thank fuck. Are you okay?”
“I’m okay. And I’m sorry. So, so sorry.”
Silence.
“Nick?”
“I’m here. I’ve been going out of my mind.”
And that was my fault.
“I wasn’t thinking straight, and this is all so new.” A tear rolled down my cheek. “Can we talk? Please?”
Another pause. “On my way. I’ll be there in ten.”
The phone slipped from my fingers as I desperately planned what to say when he arrived. How did a girl apologise for being stupider than an amoeba?
Tia passed me a tissue. “What’s wrong? He’s coming, right?”
“Yes, but I don’t know what to say to him.”
“Just tell him how you feel. Men are terrible at guessing.”
“How I feel? Like, ‘I’m sorry I yelled at you. I thought Emmy was your girlfriend and you were cheating on her and then me, but now I know I was totally wrong about that. Can we just turn back the clock to the bit before you left for dinner?’”
Tia burst into giggles. “You thought Emmy and Nick were