the trees again.
I’ve faced off with some of the most dangerous creatures in this world, and didn’t so much as flinch at size, or ferocity, but nothing scares the shit out of me like children with their curious questions. I probably look like a mole rat catching its reflection for the first time. Confused and terrified, but kind of happy at the same time.
“Sure. You can call me dad. If that’s what you want.”
Asher nods, casually wiping the back of his hand across his nose. “It’s what I want.”
Elbows resting on my knees, I return a nod. “Okay, then.”
“Dad?”
Strange hearing him say that, gives a weird sort of feeling that has me scratching the back of my head. “Yeah.”
“Will I turn Rager someday?”
Fuck. Once again, I find myself searching for Thalia, who’d handle this question far better than I can. Still chatting with Freya, she smiles and waves, oblivious to the conversation.
I can’t lie to the boy. I won’t. I’ve been lied to most of my childhood, by doctors and scientists, and all it did was turn me into a pissed off adult. “Doc Levins says that’s a possibility. I guess you could, yeah.”
Every week, Thalia has been taking the boy to visit the doctor’s makeshift clinic at Freya’s camp, and each time, she’s told the same thing: there’s no guarantee that he won’t turn Rager, or end up like Remus and Agatha with psychopathic behavior. As a result, she tries to smother that possibility with affection toward the kid. Whether it’s worked, or the boy just isn’t likely to turn, at all, he seems to be doing okay. So far.
“I hope I don’t. I don’t want to die.” Asher’s voice carries tears and hits me like a punch to the chest.
I’m no stranger to those thoughts, as I had them for years, with all the shit they did to me in Calico, but hell if I’m equipped at easing his fears. I’ve had to learn to just accept and evolve with mine. “Look, kid … Asher … son. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. But I promise you, I won’t let anything, or anyone, hurt you. Got it?”
He sits quiet for a moment, and with the fire burning, I catch the reflection of tears in his eyes, before he shoots up and barrels straight into me. Knocked stupid for a moment, I hold my arms out, not sure what to do with them. Can’t remember if I’ve ever even hugged a child before. Takes a good few seconds before my head prods me to wrap my arms around the boy, and when I do, something strange stirs inside of me. Kind of warm and fuzzy. Pleasantly aggravating.
Kids have never really been part of the plan for me. This world is too hard and cold for something so innocent as a baby, so the fact that Thalia can’t bear my child never really bothered me. But I’ve got to admit, something about earning the kid’s trust feels pretty good. Hearing him call me dad was kind of nice, too, even if it felt a little weird.
I pat the kid’s back, taking in the small and fragile arms that cling tight around my neck.
Asher.
My son.
Son.
And just like that, the promise I made to the boy becomes a living, breathing thing that pounds inside my chest.
The simmering embers of the fire cast a soft glow about the room, as I lay beside Thalia, her small frame pressed tight against me.
“Do you ever plan to sleep in a bed again?” she asks, with a smile in her voice.
I draw her hair aside to kiss her nape. “A warm fire and you lying beside me? No reason to.”
Everyone took off, back to Freya’s camp, leaving the cabin quiet and still again. Asher’s sound asleep in Thalia’s old bedroom, last I checked, and Yuma lies snoozing by the door, where a crack along the bottom lets in just enough air to keep him from getting too warm with the fire.
“Still, it’d be nice to have something softer than a hard plank beneath me, and I’m not talking about your body.” She twists in my grasp, nuzzling her face in my chest. “I do love your stiff surfaces, though.”
Smiling at that, I grip her thigh, and the moment her hips grind the right spot, my whole body stirs to life. “Unless you intend to finish this, I suggest you stop now.” Face buried in her neck, I breathe in the sweet scent watering