gave me one of his meanest looks. The whites of his eyes were so red he looked like he was on fire.
Like me, he had gained a lot of weight over the years. He was not really all that fat, but he was flabby, and his stomach protruded. Having sex with me was the most strenuous exercise he got. I reached under my pillow and slid the dollar out and handed it back to him. “Now you get your nasty self to the bathroom yonder and wash up for school,” he ordered.
“Why don’t you use those rubber things?” I asked before I left for school that morning. He had started “pulling out” of me before he came after I got my first period, a year earlier.
“Rubbers?” he roared. “Why—what’s wrong with you, girl? How would it look for a man like me to be seen by some blabbermouth in a drugstore buyin’ somethin’ like that? Eeyow! Anyway, them things cost money. I know you don’t expect me to spend even more money on you for a little poontang!”
“Why don’t you get some from Scary Mary, Mr. Boatwright? I saw a bunch of rubbers in her kitchen.” I sighed. He walked along with me in his housecoat, with a cup of coffee in his hand, as I moved toward the door. I couldn’t wait to get to school to get away from him.
He gave me a thoughtful look as he rolled this information around in his head. “Say what?” he gulped.
“In a bowl on top of her refrigerator. I saw them the other day when I went to get you that beer.”
“How you know about rubbers?” The words shot out of his mouth like spit. He tilted his head to the side and glared at me out of the corners of his mean eyes.
“One of Scary Mary’s ladies told me,” I lied. A couple of fast girls at school talked about them and brought them to school all the time.
“Which one?” he mouthed, giving me a suspicious look. He folded his arms and blocked the front door.
“Um…the one that got killed.”
“Rosalee. Poor thing wasn’t even saved,” he said hoarsely, shaking his head. Sweat was sliding down the sides of his face.
“I could sneak a few rubbers from Scary Mary every time I go over there. Nobody would have to know,” I offered.
“Mercy!” he said, grinning as he opened the door for me.
The very next day I grabbed a handful of condoms from Scary Mary’s bowl and delivered them to Mr. Boatwright.
“Umph,” was all he said.
Even with the money from his disability check that Mr. Boatwright contributed, Mama still worked six days a week for Judge Lawson and up to ten hours a day.
Some mornings she would be gone by the time I got up, and sometimes I would be in bed when she got home. Not a week went by when she did not remind me, “You better do everythin’ Brother Boatwright tell you, do you hear me?” And I did even if it meant fighting with him first. Now that I had a powerful friend, I felt a whole lot better. I knew that it was just a matter of time before I told Rhoda what was happening. Somehow, I knew that eventually, Rhoda would be the one to rescue me.
“Did a grown person ever do something real bad to you and tell you not to tell?” I asked her at lunch a few days later. I put my fork down and prayed she wouldn’t see my hands shaking.
“Yep. Uncle Johnny slipped some whiskey into my Pepsi one time so he could see me stumblin’ around the house.”
“Did you tell on him?” My hands were shaking harder now, so I put them on my lap.
“Nope. It was fun bein’ drunk. He lets me drink from his beer all the time now. Don’t you dare tell that Pee Wee. He would blab to my daddy, and I would get a whuppin’.”
“I won’t tell him something like that. I don’t think getting drunk is that bad. I was talking about something real bad. You know like…um…rape.”
Rhoda put her fork down and looked around the room for a few moments, making me more nervous. “Will you tell me who is botherin’ you, Annette?” Rhoda whispered, her eyes scanning my face.
“I didn’t say it was me—” My hands were still shaking, but I picked up my fork again and continued eating.
“I know it’s you, girl. Just look at the way your hands are shakin’!”