me on the back. I closed my eyes and expected the worse. When nothing happened after a few moments, I stopped and turned around. It was Rhoda, dressed in all white. A white ribbon hung from the side of her hair. She was dazzling.
“Hi.” She smiled. I had never been this close to her before.
“Hi,” I mumbled. Within seconds, sweat started to form on my forehead, and I started trembling. My thoughts were running amok. What could she want from me? My lunch money? My new secondhand scarf. “I’ll give you a nickel,” I told her, bowing my head submissively.
“A nickel? What would I do with a nickel? My daddy gives me a whole dollar every mornin’,” she informed me. “I just wanted to apologize to you for rollin’ my eyes at you in history class. I was havin’ a bad day.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m the one who should be apologizing. If I had studied, I would not have had to copy your answers. You always get A’s.” I surprised myself. It felt so natural talking to her. But I could barely stand to look into those stunning green eyes. I didn’t know if I was going to like being a lesbian and was beginning to have second thoughts about it already. What good-looking lesbian would want me? Did I really want to kiss this girl? I wasn’t even sure now.
“I study real hard, and I earn all those good grades I get,” Rhoda claimed. I knew that Rhoda was originally from down South, too, because she had a moderate Southern accent. I had worked hard over the years trying to get rid of mine, but it was still noticeable. I was proud of the fact that I had never dropped my g’s from ing words, something I’d picked up from TV and radio when we still lived in Florida. “Readin’ is my first love,” she gushed.
“Oh? Mine too. Reading and movies.” I swallowed so hard, my throat hurt. She was making me nervous, but I was glad to be talking with her. “I don’t have any brothers or sisters or friends, so I have to do something so I won’t be lonely.”
She followed as I walked on. I didn’t want to be late to this class.
“What about Pee Wee?” she asked.
“Well, he’s…um…not really a friend. He’s just the boy next door. His daddy comes to our house a lot, so Pee Wee comes, too.”
“Yeah, he comes to visit me a lot, too, but I don’t consider him a friend. He’s just…just…there.” We both laughed. “Hey! You like comic books? Superman, Archie.”
“Uh-huh. I read them a lot,” I replied bobbing my head up and down.
“I got a pile up to my knee if you want to borrow the ones you haven’t read yet.”
“Ooh wee. But…why? You don’t know me,” I said shyly, narrowing my eyes to see her better.
“Well,” she shrugged and cocked her head to the side, “since we live so close, my daddy said you’re a nice girl and I should be neighborly to you. He thinks I’m too grown for my age. He’s always tryin’ to get me to make friends at school with other girls.” Rhoda paused and her eyes got wide. “I know—maybe we can go to the library or the bookstore or the movies together sometime,” she said excitedly.
“Huh?” I gasped. “Me and you?”
“Sure. Don’t you want to?”
“Well…I didn’t think…you…um.” I didn’t know what I was saying.
“You don’t like me either, Annette?” she asked sadly. We stopped. Our eyes met, and I saw something that frightened me. I saw the same emptiness I felt sometimes.
I shrugged, and said, “I like you. But you…you mean you like me? Some of the kids don’t like me, but I don’t really care,” I said firmly.
“Well, you’re not like any of those other kids. You wouldn’t want to be like them.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, do you want to be an imitation of somebody else, or do you want to be yourself? I don’t know you that well, but from what I do know, you’re worth five of some of those other girls.”
“I am?”
“You’re smart, and you’ve got a complexion I couldn’t beat with a stick.”
My hand went up to my face. I widened my eyes and looked at Rhoda with great suspicion. “What about my complexion? Everybody says I’m too dark.”
“Too dark for what?”
“I really don’t know,” I said thoughtfully, scratching the back of my neck.
“We’re the same shade, and I’m sure as hell