at all.
It did occur to me that she might be waiting for me the same way I was waiting for her. And then I thought: Yeah, right.
I’m not saying I’m psychic, but all Monday morning I knew something horrible was about to happen. I texted my mom at work to make sure she was okay, and she was. I found Ronni in the hall between second and third period and asked her if she was okay, and she told me to get a grip. I raced into the cafeteria at lunch to make sure Jamie and Alexis were okay too, and when I saw them sitting there, apparently alive, I exhaled in relief.
But then I saw they weren’t alone. Natalie freaking Reid was sitting next to Jamie, at our lunch table, and voilà: I’d found my something horrible.
I had three choices: One, I could make a break for the nurse’s office, claiming sudden-onset flu. I probably wouldn’t even have to fake it. I definitely felt like throwing up.
Two, I could sit with Kate and Janelle from my team and their assorted friends, and explain myself later.
Or three, I could sit in my normal spot, across from my best friend and my worst enemy, because I knew if I did anything else, all I would do was wonder what I’d missed. What I hadn’t been there to see for myself.
I approached the table too fast, sat down too fast, said “Hey, guys” too fast, opened my lunch too fast. Ronni gently put her foot on top of mine, both a warning and a private show of support. “What’s up?” she said in a tone that communicated You are acting insane.
I laughed. “Not much.” I could feel Natalie’s eyes on me, so I met them. “Hey, Natalie,” I trilled. “How are you?”
Ronni pressed harder on my toes.
“Hey,” said Natalie. “I’m…good. How…are you?”
“Great,” I said. On Jamie’s other side, Alexis radiated excitement, like a kid on Christmas morning. I wanted to yank the string cheese from her hand and hit her with it.
“You guys hear about Mr. Hughes?” Ronni half shouted. Everyone’s shoulders dropped two inches, relieved to have something impersonal and uncontroversial to talk about: the skeevy tenth-grade biology teacher suspended for sexual harassment. Or, well, an investigation regarding sexual harassment claims. But calling it that was, for us, an irrelevant formality. Between the five of us only Ronni had had him for biology, but it didn’t matter. Every girl in the school knew, whether they’d taken his class or not: he did it.
We took turns rehashing the rumors we’d collected since that morning, when he didn’t show up for class.
“I guess his sub announced herself as the ‘long-term substitute,’?” said Jamie.
“She did,” confirmed Alexis. “She said Hughes was out attending to ‘personal matters.’?”
“I wonder how he got caught,” said Natalie freaking Reid.
“Emails,” said Alexis.
“I heard there were pictures, too,” said Ronni.
“Instagram screenshots, yes.”
“Who’s the girl?” I asked, just for something to say. “Or, girls.”
Alexis leaned in confidentially. “Danea Traverso. Sophomore. Obviously.”
Natalie’s eyebrows rose clear off her head.
“You know her?” said Ronni.
Natalie nodded. “She’s my neighbor.”
Alexis pounced. “Really? Do you talk to her? Apparently she didn’t come today. Maybe you should check on her.”
“We don’t really talk anymore,” said Natalie. “She’s…” She trailed off, shrugging judgmentally. From her tone, and the look on her face, it was obvious that Natalie thought Danea was bad somehow. Maybe even deserving. I looked at Jamie, who was watching Natalie, realizing the same thing I was. I’d never met Danea Traverso, or even heard her name, but I felt certain then that I would kill for her.
“So you really don’t know her, then,” I said.
“Well—”
“Shouldn’t we be focusing on Hughes?” Jamie interjected. “He’s the grown man DM-ing teenagers on Instagram.” Her eyes landed on mine for a millisecond before dropping to her lunch tray’s half-eaten contents.
“Totally,” said Alexis.
There ensued an awkward