couldn’t believe it. I felt my stomach sink. Was Grandad really holding something back from me? Was he choosing to be loyal to Luke over me?
‘He brought her over because, well, I can’t say, but it really isn’t what you thin—’
‘You’ve met her?’ I felt nausea rise inside me. Luke had introduced her! This was all becoming too real. I had suspected something was going on but this was so much worse than I’d imagined.
‘No, well, it’s just, it’s not what it . . . Arjun could . . . ’ Grandad was scraping his hands through his hair.
Did they all know? I felt everything swim inside my head. I was utterly alone. I stood up abruptly. ‘Tell Geoffrey I’ve got a headache.’
‘Lottie, wait.’
‘I have to go.’
‘Lottie.’
‘No,’ I said, voice wobbling as I looked down at his ashen face. ‘I can’t even . . . I can’t believe you . . . ’ Knowing I was about to start crying I didn’t carry on. Snatching my bag up, I swept out of the living room to the front door, aware Howard, Arjun and Geoffrey were all crowded into the kitchen trying to avoid listening to the exchange. Humiliation made me angrier and I slammed the door behind me.
Moving down the street I ignored another call from the house. Arjun had tried to follow me but I was walking too quickly. Grandad’s guilty face, the knowledge that something was going on with Luke. The lies. The betrayal. Whatever Arjun wanted to say couldn’t help me.
When I’d got some distance I removed my mobile, wanting a cab, a quick way to get back home. A name appeared on the screen and with a small swell of relief I realised the message was from Mum. That was what I needed. I wanted someone who loved me to tell me it was going to be OK. My parents’ next visit was in a few weeks’ time. I wished she was here right now. I clicked on the message. Had to cancel flights. Your father got given tickets to the test match in India. We’ll rearrange soon! Hope all well! Love to Luke!
Standing stock still I read the message over and over, feeling everything crash around me again. I was returning to an empty flat, my boyfriend was probably cheating on me, my best friend wasn’t speaking to me, my grieving grandad thought I was a cow and was keeping secrets from me, and now my parents had chosen to go on an international cricket tour rather than spend time with me.
I had never felt so alone.
Chapter 24
Love is like a good mystery book: you never know what’s coming next but you know you must keep turning the page
AGNES, 88
The week passed in a fog of misery: barely present in court, dazed with clients as I tried to make sense of everything. What was Luke keeping from me? What did Grandad know?
The work wasn’t acting as a distraction. What did I really love about the job? I’d always wanted to study law, enjoyed representing people, trying to help them articulate what they wanted to say in court. I knew I had lost sight of my original love of the law: a new case, a grateful client, the research involved. Instead I’d become caught up in the idea that I needed to work on anything that might advance my career and to hell with the consequences. I hadn’t even thought about applying for silk and then suddenly I’d decided to be in a great rush to get there. Yet I didn’t really know why I was doing it. I had seen the way my father had given so much up in his quest to get to the top of his industry and it made him happy. But did it make me happy?
My phone remained silent. Amy, Grandad, Luke – all absent. It only highlighted how messed up things were and a terrified ache in my stomach told me I might never get these things back. The anger was fading and the doubts were creeping in: would the two people who loved me most really be lying to me?
Saturday dawned and the buzzer to the flat went, hope lighting in me at the thought that Luke might be here.
‘This is your fault,’ Howard announced down the intercom. ‘It’s us, we need to come in,’ he said.
Frowning, I pressed the button on the intercom, opening the flat door to see Howard halfway up the stairs already.
Grandad was a