you. Whatever he did . . . whatever you did to survive. It’s all right.”
Was that what was bothering him? Light! “You big ox,” she said, thumping a fist on his chest, causing him to grunt. “What are you saying? That it would be all right for me to be unfaithful? Just after you were so concerned to tell me that you hadn’t been?”
“What? No, it’s different, Faile. You were a prisoner, and—”
“And I can’t care for myself? You are an ox. No one touched me. They’re Aiel. You know they wouldn’t dare harm a gai’shain.” It wasn’t quite true; women had often been abused in the Shaido camp, for the Shaido had stopped acting like Aiel.
But there had been others in the camp, Aiel who hadn’t been Shaido. Men who had refused to accept Rand as their Car’a’carn, but who also had trouble accepting Shaido authority. The Brotherless had been men of honor; though they’d called themselves cast off, they had been the only ones in Malden who had maintained the old ways. When the gai’shain women had started to be in danger, the Brotherless had chosen and protected those they could. They hadn’t asked anything for their efforts.
Well . . . that wasn’t true. They had asked for much, but had demanded nothing. Rolan had always been an Aiel to her in action, if not in word. But, like Masema’s death, her relationship with Rolan was not something Perrin needed to know about. She had never so much as kissed Rolan, but she had used his desire for her as an advantage. And she suspected that he’d known what she was doing.
Perrin had killed Rolan. That was another reason that her husband didn’t need to know about the Brotherless man’s kindness. It would tear Perrin apart inside if he knew what he’d done.
Perrin relaxed, closing his eyes. He had changed during these two months, perhaps as much as she had. That was good. In the Borderlands, her people had a saying: “Only the Dark One stays the same.” Men grew and progressed; the Shadow just remained as it was. Evil.
“We’ll have to do some planning tomorrow,” Perrin said, yawning. “Once gateways are available, we will have to decide whether to force the people to leave, and decide who goes first. Has anyone discovered what happened to Masema?”
“Not that I know of,” she said carefully. “But with so many of his possessions gone from his tent. . . .”
“Masema doesn’t care about possessions,” Perrin mumbled quietly, eyes still closed. “Though maybe he would have taken them to rebuild. I guess he might have run off, though it’s strange that nobody knows where or how.”
“He probably slipped away during the confusion after the battle.”
“Probably,” Perrin agreed. “I wonder . . .” He yawned. “I wonder what Rand will say. Masema was the point of this whole trip. I was to fetch him and bring him back, and I guess I’ve failed.”
“You destroyed the men who were murdering and robbing in the Dragon’s name,” Faile said, “and you cut out the heart of the Shaido leadership, not to mention all you’ve learned about the Seanchan. I think the Dragon will find that what you’ve accomplished here far outweighs not bringing Masema back.”
“Maybe you’re right,” Perrin mumbled sleepily. “Blasted colors. . . . I don’t want to watch you sleeping, Rand. What happened to your hand? Light-blinded fool, take better care of yourself. . . . You’re all we have. . . . Last Hunt coming. . . .”
She could barely make out that last part. Why was he talking about Rand’s hand going hunting? Was he actually falling asleep this time?
Sure enough, he soon started snoring softly. She smiled, shaking her head fondly. He was an ox, sometimes. But he was her ox. She climbed off of the pallet and moved through their tent, pulling on a robe and tying its belt. A pair of sandals followed, and then she slipped out through the tent flaps. Arrela and Lacile guarded there, along with two Maidens. The Maidens nodded to her; they would keep her secret.
Faile left the Maiden guards, but took Arrela and Lacile with her as she walked out into the darkness. Arrela was a dark-haired Tairen woman who was taller than most Maidens, with a brusque way about her. Lacile was short, pale, and very slender, and she walked with a graceful sway. They were as different as women could get, perhaps, though their captivity had united them all.