I’d tried normal sex and it hadn’t worked. Whatever Frost did just flat out worked for me. Would we fuck everything up if we took that away?
“I need you in my life,” he said, his eyes a deeper blue than I was used to seeing them. “I need us to figure out how to make this work. Relationships are a two-way street. If something isn’t working for you, we should talk about it. It concerns me that you went behind my back.”
“I’m being honest with you, Frost. I was frustrated. I tried. Now we’re talking.” Fuck, this felt too much like a teenager being scolded, and yet, I also knew he was right. I should’ve talked to him before I tried to get myself off.
I sighed. “I know you think this is about trust, and maybe it is, but that wasn’t how it felt. This isn’t like me lying, or even omitting. I got frustrated and I tried to get myself off. It wasn’t like I was trying to keep it from you. I knew you’d know and ask me about it, and I knew I’d tell you the truth.” I met his gaze and tried to put my thoughts together enough to form a sentence about them. “I love you. No one’s ever had this kind of power over me before. It’s frustrating, and it’s hard. A whole week without an orgasm, when you’re edging me a dozen times a day? I can’t ignore it or downplay how big of a deal it is anymore.”
“Do you want me to help you learn to orgasm without me ordering you to?”
“Yes and no.”
He smirked and then took a drink of milk to try to cover it up.
“Fuck, you can be an asshole sometimes. Okay, so you’re right — this is our dynamic. It’s who we are, and we run the risk of changing it if we fuck with it.”
“And yet, if it this isn’t working for you, we’ll have to fuck with it.”
No smirk this time. No smug attitude. Just the bare facts. I had to either accept his power over me in this or reject it.
“I love you.”
“And I love you, which is why I’m leaving this decision up to you. If it isn’t working for you, we have to change it.”
“How would you do that?”
“Decrease the amount of pain you get over time, and give you a trigger besides my voice. You’ll have to help come up with it, and we’ll work on it, but it isn’t going to happen overnight. It took months for us to program you to need pain, it’ll take longer for me to program you not to need it.” He ran his finger through the condensation on the outside of his glass. “There’s a reason pain works for you so well. I have a feeling your orgasms are more intense now than they were before we conditioned you with it. They’ll go back to what they were, or they might be a little less than they were, but I’m fairly certain I can condition you back to it.”
I sat back and crossed my arms. He was fucking right. I’d never had explosive orgasms before. I mean, I’d come. I’d found release, and I thought it’d been good, but now that I’d had earth shattering orgasms, could I ever be happy with mere good again?
“Go take a shower or a bath and think about it,” he said. “You have permission to masturbate if you want. Whatever you need to do in order to make your decision. I’ll be in the den playing a video game. If you decide you want me to teach you to get yourself off, come sit beside me.”
He sat a little taller and his voice did that thing it does when he’s being bossy. Just the tone had my clit throbbing. “If you decide we need to continue as we are, come to me naked and kneel at my feet. Either way, I’ll stop and save the game when I reach a point it’ll let me, and then we’ll talk.”
Frost
I figured there was an eighty-percent chance she’d decide to keep the status quo, and a twenty percent chance she’d want to learn to get herself off.
She was going to try to bargain, though. “Let’s keep it the way it is, but you can’t deny me for more than a day or two.”
And that was going to be what we really needed to talk about.