neck. He finally seemed to understand what I needed, and he encapsulated me in his embrace. I melted into him and breathed him in. His energy, his love, his heartbeat.
“I love you, too, Frost. More than I ever thought I’d love anyone.”
I wanted to say more, but I didn’t know how to tell him how far into my heart he was, how much I needed him in my life, how much I missed him when we were apart.
He held me in the strength and warmth of his embrace until I pulled away, and then he kissed my forehead and went back to mashing the potatoes.
Somehow, we had dinner on the table when Gil and the kids arrived at noon. We exchanged presents, ate our Christmas feast, went out back and used my shooting range a while, and then went inside to play video games. And yes, it’s totally fucked up to have your ex-husband and your boyfriend both over to your house for Christmas dinner, but it’s what the kids needed, and it worked.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Frost
I told my brothers during church that I’d be giving Cheyenne her prop vest during our New Year’s Eve party, and they all seemed happy to hear the news.
“About damned time, brother,” seemed to be the general consensus.
I took a breath and asked for what I really needed from them. “Can we vote now, so I can take her to the spa’s dungeon New Year’s Day if she accepts the vest from me?”
By unanimous vote, they said I could.
As Banshee, she’d known about the dungeon, but she’d been blindfolded for the trip there and back, so she didn’t know where it was. As my ol’lady, complete with prop vest and a confidence vote, she’d know where it was, which meant she’d figure out the workin’ girls at the spa used it. If she spilled the information, that would be on me, but I still couldn’t tell her certain secrets unless the club okayed it.
I’d given her lots of orgasms Christmas night, and then broke the news to her just before midnight that she wasn’t going to have another orgasm the rest of the year — and had told her seconds before allowing the one I’d been edging her towards.
Yes, it was cruel, and yes, I’d fucked her and played with her another two hours without allowing her release, because the idea of edging and denying her for a whole week made me harder than fucking diamonds.
Cheyenne
Three days after Christmas, I went home early and tried my damnedest to have an orgasm, but it was hopeless. I put a butt plug in, smashed my nipples flat with the hateful clamps from Home Depot, and used my most intense vibrator, and I got so fucking close I could taste it, but my body simply wouldn’t go over the edge.
Later, when I had to admit how hard I’d tried — because Frost knew something was up the second he walked in the door — he didn’t spank me or belt me, as I’d assumed he would.
Looking back, I’d have rather been beaten black and blue than have the conversation we had, but I also know he was exactly right.
“You’re better at the couple thing than me. You’ve been married, and I assume it wasn’t all bad. The two of you still respect each other.” He poured two glasses of milk and motioned for me to sit across from him at the table. “Sex is an important part of our relationship. For us, I thought that meant edging and denial was also important, but this has to be the two of us deciding what works for us. If something isn’t working for you, anything, we need to talk about that. Do you need me to help you learn how to orgasm on your own? Do you want to do away with this aspect of our sex life?”
The question made me freeze. I’m pretty sure my heart stopped beating a few seconds.
Would our relationship be the same if I could orgasm whenever I wanted?
No, it wouldn’t. The thought scared me. I loved Frost, and I loved the give and take of our interactions. He supported my work, he supported my relationship with my ex-husband’s kids and he was forming his own with them, and he took charge when we had sex.
I shook my head. “I don’t know how to answer that. This week has been hell, and I thought the answer would’ve been yes, but...” I sat back and stared at