it formal, before. I’d pulled it out when she was in the mood for it, and let it slide into the background when she wasn’t.
And that’d been fine. As long as it worked, there was no need in taking it to the next step.
Clearly, it wasn’t going to work anymore, and this was why I’d ordered her to kneel in front of me if she decided to let me keep control of her orgasms. If that was her choice, we needed rules, and she was going to have to submit to them — not because I said so, but because she needed the structure. Cheyenne was a natural submissive, but I wasn’t going to convince her of it.
She’d have to convince herself.
Cheyenne
I rubbed at my clit a few seconds and realized I didn’t fucking want to masturbate.
My second realization came seconds later, and hit me like a two-by-four.
I’d expected him to punish me for trying to have an orgasm.
It was like that puzzle piece that suddenly makes all the other puzzle pieces you’ve put together off to the side work together. I hadn’t seen the big picture, but now I did.
He’d been taking charge during sex, but not so much in between. He hadn’t really needed to, since I’m incapable of having an orgasm unless he gives it to me, but he hadn’t tried. I’ve had kinky friends over the years, so I understood enough to know that until I handed him my submission, he didn’t own it.
And he hadn’t tried to pretend he did. That’s why he’d had a conversation with me about my needs instead of punishing me.
And that was why he wanted me to kneel in front of him if I wanted him to keep controlling my orgasms. He was going to formalize it, and I knew it was right.
I mean, sure, part of me wanted to rebel, but in my gut, I knew this was the next step. Our sex life had always been skewed towards him bossing me around. It’d started when I was Banshee to him. The dynamic was totally different now, but it still depended on him bossing me around and me needing to hear his bossy-assed voice.
I took my time bathing, drying off, and rubbing coconut oil all over. I worked on my hair while it soaked in, and then put makeup on. It seemed important I come to him as me — self-confident, sure of myself. Sure of my submission.
Walking through the house, barefoot and naked, seemed natural. However, when I reached the door of the den, it was suddenly hard. Instinctively, I knew this would represent a sea-change in our relationship.
I wasn’t really sure how to kneel, when it came to it. I ended up with my butt on my feet, my hands open and facedown on my thighs, and my eyes focused on the floor just in front of my knees. Within a minute, he’d saved his game and set the controller to the side.
“We would have moved forward and figured things out no matter your decision, but I’m glad you trust me enough to make this one.”
A finger touched under my chin and it sent a tingle all through my body. He pushed my chin up, and I met his gaze. Crystal clear blue, but not cold.
“Can you tell me that you give me your orgasms? Can you make it official?”
I nodded, and he waited. It took me a good thirty seconds to manage to actually say it.
“I give you my orgasms.”
“And I accept them. If you ever want to take them back, or feel I’m not being responsible with them, you need to promise to come talk to me about it, and not to take matters into your own hands. Can you make that promise?”
I nodded again, and he kissed my forehead.
“Okay. You’re allowed to masturbate and edge all you want unless I specifically tell you I don’t want you to. You aren’t allowed to try to get yourself to orgasm. Do you agree?”
I nodded, realized he wanted more, and said, “Yes. I agree.”
“Okay then. Go put clothes on, and then we’re going to play a game of chess.”
Frost
I worried that if I edged her after our talk, she’d see it as punishment. At first, the idea of denying her seemed the perfect way to provide consequences, but I’d changed my mind. I wanted it to be part of our life. I didn’t want her to see it as a negative, but as a positive.