own."
"Creepy. Do you think the house is haunted?"
She rubbed her forehead. "No, I thought...well, I thought Dutch was here."
"Oh, honey."
She hated the pity in Alyssa's voice. By now, she should be used to living without him.
"Will you tell me what he looked like when you saw him?" She pulled her legs up higher. "I just need to know if he's okay."
She lied to herself and Alyssa. It killed her not to know how he was doing, but she also knew Alyssa wouldn't tell anyone that she'd asked about Dutch.
"Well, I hadn't seen him since we were sixteen years old." Alyssa paused. "He looks older. Not old-old, but he does have wrinkles on his face. His beard has some gray in it now. Not much, but some."
She swallowed. He'd started getting gray in prison. At first, she hadn't noticed, but toward the end, it became more pronounced since he let his beard grow wild and long.
"He was okay, though, right?" she asked.
"I guess. He was partying at the clubhouse."
She closed her eyes. There were women there who would jump at being with him. Especially knowing he spent five years in prison.
"Was he with anyone?" she whispered.
"Marla." Alyssa sighed. "You don't need to put yourself through this."
Emotions clogged her throat. "Tell me. I need to know."
"He was...pretty far gone. Drinking and whatever else he was on."
She grimaced. "He was with a woman."
"Yeah," whispered Alyssa. "But, you know, it probably didn't mean anything. The bikers screw everything with two legs and are always switching around. He was toasted. I doubt if he even knows what he did that night."
She caught the sob before it broke free. Out of all her worries, she could never imagine Dutch with anyone else. She imagined him exactly like he was the last time she saw him when he broke her heart.
She wanted to believe he was mean and angry because he hurt as much as her that they had to stay apart. But she'd been wrong.
He'd sent her away. Not for her to be free, but so he could move on with his life after he got out of prison.
"I feel awful. I shouldn't have told you," said Alyssa.
"No." She cleared her throat. "I asked you to."
"I know, but—"
"It's not you." She put her head down on the couch. "I'm just... empty. I should go to bed."
"Are you going to be okay?"
"Yeah." She closed her eyes. "Eventually."
"Call me tomorrow?"
"I will."
"Okay. Call if you need me sooner."
"Mm-hm." She swallowed. "Bye."
She disconnected the call and dropped the phone to the floor. Curling into herself, she stayed on the couch.
Dutch had really left her. He wasn't coming back.
There was only one thing left for her to do.
Chapter 24
DUTCH WALKED INTO THE pool hall to meet with Falcon. Already in a bad mood, he wanted to finish business now and go back to Marla Marie's house and wait for her to arrive home.
He'd gone straight to her place upon arriving in town. Purposely seeking her out first thing when he rode into Moses Lake before it got too late, knowing she probably had to work tomorrow morning.
"Dutch." Rubble approached him. "Good to see you, man."
"It's been a while." He clasped the offered hand. "Falcon around?"
Rubble looked around. "Not yet. Do you want something while you wait?"
"Nah, I'm good." He took a pack of smokes out of his vest. "I'll hang around until he gets here."
"Yell if you change your mind." Rubble punched Dutch's shoulder. "We'll get you hooked up."
"Thanks, brother." He wandered over to the far corner, spotting Mike and Clyde, two longstanding WAKOM members.
It took a few seconds for Mike to see him standing back from the table, and when his MC brother recognized him, he whooped and came straight to him, crushing him in a bear hug, slapping his back. "You dirty motherfucker. Are you out or on the lamb?"
"Sons of a bitches opened the gate for me." He chest bumped Mike off him. "I see nothing has changed for you. You're still losing your money, pretending you can shoot a straight game of pool."
Mike laughed. "Yeah, I still can't play worth shit. Malcolm cleans me out weekly. The asshole."
Clyde and Buck came over to welcome him back. He bullshitted with them while biding his time, waiting for Falcon. Newly patched members loitered in the building, and the unfamiliar faces drilled in the fact that he'd missed out on five years of changes within the chapters.
"Hey, babe, bring my brother a beer," shouted Mike, motioning across the room.
"I'm good,