I had responsibilities here—your grandfather, Teddy of course.”
“That must have been hard,” said Eve. “I mean to leave a man you were so in love with, to know that you would never see him again.”
“It was,” said Esther. “But it would have been hard either way. I loved Teddy so much, and I knew that if I chose Richard I would never have been able to keep Teddy with me. Your grandfather would never have countenanced it. I had to make the best of it. I always thought one day . . . one day he might turn up, or I might find him again.” She sighed. “You never forget that kind of love.”
Eve’s mind flashed to David, who she had once imagined herself so in love with and now barely gave a second thought to. “Did you look? After Gramps died I mean?” Eve asked.
“It didn’t seem right, not straight away anyway. And then I thought that he had most probably married, gotten on with his life, and I didn’t want to be the one to disturb that. It could have stirred up more trouble than it was worth. Anyway, he might not have wanted to hear from me, not after what I said to him.”
“Oh, Grams,” said Eve. “What did you say?”
Esther shook her head, her mouth firm. “I thought I was being kind, but really it was unforgivably cruel.”
“But what about now?”
“Read the letters,” Esther said, holding them out to Eve. “And then you’ll know why I have to try and find him. If, that is, he is still alive.”
“We’ll help,” said Rachel. “If he’s still alive, we’ll find him, I can promise you that. It’s such an incredible story; it deserves—you deserve—to find out, to see him again. I only hope we aren’t too late.”
* * *
“So how did you get on?” Jonah asked when Rachel returned to St. Mary’s.
“Good . . . and bad,” replied Rachel.
They were sitting on the wall of the quay, eating ice creams. The weather had taken a sudden warm turn and when Rachel had run into Jonah as she was disembarking the ferry, he’d suggested the treat. It felt good to be back among the islands; she had grown to love the gentle light and the peace of the place.
“Tell me the good first.”
“Well, I still have a job. As long as I can rent a boat for a while,” she said.
He grinned at her, raising his hand for a high five. She went to slap it in return but he caught her hand in his and held it, curling his fingers around hers and squeezing them. This simple action made her heart contract uncomfortably and she felt a bolt of warning flash through her. It wouldn’t do to get too fond of him, nothing could come of it, she told herself, and she liked him too much to hurt him.
“So what’s the bad?” he asked, releasing her hand.
“The project’s been extended.”
“But that’s a good thing surely?”
“I had to make a commitment to stay here for the next five years.”
He said nothing.
“You don’t understand. I never stay anywhere longer than two at the most.”
“Why on earth not?”
She hesitated. “It’s just always been easier that way. Life’s too short and there’s too much world out there to see. I hate the idea of being tied to a single place.”
“Or a single person?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to. I know your type.”
“And what would that be?” she asked warily.
“Women like you chew men up and spit them out before breakfast.”
“I beg your pardon?” He sounded like he was joking, but there was an edge to his voice that she’d never heard before.
“You’re a law unto yourself. Answer to no one, do exactly as you please.”
“And that’s a problem for you?” she fired back.
“I haven’t made up my mind yet,” he said with a mock-serious expression on his face.
She looked down at her ice cream and then out to the ocean, a deep sapphire blue that stretched forever. Jonah saw through her as if her skin were tracing paper and it threw her off balance. A line from one of the letters came to her: “The memories of our days together warm me at night . . .” She knew with sudden certainty that she would always remember this day, this hour, simply sitting on a quay licking salted caramel ice cream with a man who made her feel unsettled and at home all at once.
“Oh, and I met Esther Durrant,” she