up my hand and runs his thumb along my palm. “I never told you why I came after you. After we said good-bye in the woods, after you tore through the trees like something was chasing you.”
That’s right. He and the floating stick had miraculously shown up, just when I thought Betsy was about to take a bite out of me. “Why?” I whisper.
“Sometime in the future, in this world or a different one, my future self was wise enough to send me a message. He was telling me, this is what’s important. Go after it. And for a while, I ignored him. I let guilt cloud my decisions. I submerged what I wanted under other people’s desires.” He presses his lips over my knuckles. We stay like that for a moment, his mouth warm on my skin. “But I’m not going to do that anymore. I’m not leaving you, Callie.”
“What about the backpacks?” I ask, hardly daring to breathe.
“We’ll figure it out. If I have to, I’ll make the trip to the meeting point every few days to leave messages for the Underground. I’ll return to Harmony, give you a kiss, and go right back again, if that’s what it takes.” His eyes are intent on mine, and I couldn’t look away, even if I tried. “That’s how important you are. It took you walking away to fully understand what my future self was trying to say. I love you, Callie. I think I was always meant to love you. My future memory hasn’t come true yet, and I want it to. I want you by my side for the rest of my life.”
I fly into his arms. “Oh, Logan. I love you, too. So much.”
I should argue with him. I should try to convince him to stay. But if there’s anything I’ve learned in the past couple days, it’s that we can’t live our lives in fear of the future. We have to make the right decision, for today, and trust that tomorrow will work itself out.
He kisses me, and it’s everything I’ve ever needed. Gloves for my fingers when winter roars. Dried fruit in a tin when starvation creeps. Hope in a world that’s fallen apart. It’s a kiss from Logan. My Logan.
I didn’t realize until now just how much I’ve been holding back. Knowing that Logan and I were destined to be apart, I had put up a wall. In that moment, with that kiss, Logan breaks through. Down crashes the glass and steel. This kiss feels unlike any before it, because, for the first time, I’m able to truly give myself to him. There are no future memories or backpacks keeping us apart. I feel Logan’s love like I’ve never allowed myself to feel it. And when he pulls away from the kiss, my body cries for more. A lifetime’s worth. No matter how often he kisses me, I’ll never stop wanting. Never stop needing. Never stop loving.
Later, when my body settles onto solid ground, I cuddle into his chest and listen to his heart. I try to match our heartbeats, but mine dances all over the place, while his marches steady and strong.
“I’m going with you tomorrow.” He traces his fingers across my face, as if daring me to disagree. “If you can fight the future, then I can let go of the past.”
My heart leaps. I hug him tightly, and the buttons on his pajamas jab me in the chest. I’m still terrified of tomorrow, but with Logan by my side, what could possibly go wrong?
39
“Wake up, Callie. You’re going to be late.”
I groan and roll over. I’m about to go back to sleep, and then I remember.
Flinging the pillow off my face, I sit up and squint at my mother. Sunshine floods into the room through the open blinds, and for a moment I can’t see anything but the blur of a figure. Then my eyes adjust and I see hair slicked back in a neat bun and a white button-down tucked into navy slacks. My mother holds my silver jumpsuit in one hand and a long auburn wig in the other.
“I forgot for a moment,” I say. “I thought you were waking me up for school.”
“I wish I were.” Mom plops the wig on my head, tugging it this way and that. “Good. I knew it would fit perfectly.”
I grab a fistful of the wig. It’s slick, like extremely fine strands of plastic instead of hair, and a few shades darker