“But so are a million other scenarios. What difference does it make?”
I pull out of his grasp and collapse on the bed. “Because if that’s not it, and there’s nothing stopping the scientists from discovering the Key…” I crumple the comforter in my fists. “Then I think I know why my future self kills my sister.”
Logan doesn’t say anything for an entire minute. He sits on the bed and rests his elbows on his thighs. “Go on.”
Taking a deep breath, I mimic his position, going through the logic in my head. I know I’m right. I have to be. It’s the first scenario I’ve come up with that makes any sense.
“FuMA has started arresting sets of twins to study. And I found out Jessa and I were supposed to be twins.”
I tell Logan about my mom’s memory and how she removed my sister’s embryo and implanted it again six years ago. “And then there’s my future memory. I know I kill my sister, but I don’t know why.” I shake my head. “I’ve been going over this again and again. Whatever the reason is, it’s got to be big. I know myself, and I don’t care which future version of me is out there, I’m not going to kill my sister because I’m upset or to spare her a little pain. It’s got to be bigger than that.” My sweatpants are fraying at the cuffs, and I grab one of the longer threads and pull. “It’s got to be something that affects all of humanity.”
I take a deep breath. “So what’s the one thing our world’s built around? What is FuMA so anxious to discover they’ve been disregarding civil liberties left and right?”
“Future memory,” he says.
“Exactly.” I wipe my palms across my thighs. “I think Jessa’s the Key the scientists have been searching for. She has such a unique ability. She can send whole memories into my mind, not just telepathic messages like you and Mikey. It’s not such a stretch to think she’s the one.”
“Oh, wow.” He flops down on the bed and looks up at the ceiling, where the teenage Mikey had rigged up a light show of the galaxy. “So you think you kill Jessa to prevent future memory from being discovered? Why would you do that?”
“Something bad must happen in the future.” I lie down next to him. “Future memory must somehow be responsible for something so devastating, a future me decided she’d rather kill Jessa than live in that world.”
He turns his head, and our eyes meet, six inches apart. I hadn’t planned on telling him this next part, but no matter what happens tomorrow, I want him to know I tried my best to do the right thing.
“Logan, I’m going to rescue my sister tomorrow. But before I do, I’m going to look for some answers. I need to find out what happens in the future. I’ll never find any peace otherwise.”
“How are you going to do that?”
“I’m not sure,” I admit. “But Chairwoman Dresden said the information came from a precognitive. Not like Jessa’s ability to see a couple of minutes into the future. But a real precog who can see years, if not decades from now. I have to assume the precog’s one of their subjects in the lab. I’ll start there and figure it out.”
He lifts his hand to trace the bones in my face. My eyebrows, cheekbones, jaw. “Let’s say you do find your answer. What if it makes you change your mind? What if you decide to kill her after all?”
I cover his hand with mine. “You once told me knowing my future doesn’t take away my free will. I guess I’ll have to trust myself.”
He sits up abruptly. My cheek burns from the absence of his touch. This is it. The moment he wishes me best of luck. Whichever future I choose, it has nothing to do with him anymore.
But instead of standing and putting more distance between us, he stares at his feet in the dim light.
I bite my lip. I’m not going to cry. I’ll accept his well wishes and thank him. He’s the most decent boy I’ve ever known. The most decent boy I will ever know.
“I want to help you tomorrow,” he finally says.
I shake my head. “Logan, don’t—”
“If you can take on FuMA, if you’re willing to go against your very destiny, then surely I can go against my brother’s wishes.”
“It’s not about what you can do. It’s about what you want.”
He picks