don’t you think they would have found me by now?”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe you’re overly worried about this whole affair. Maybe bringing me all the way out here wasn’t necessary. Maybe I would have been fine staying in Newport all along.”
He didn’t respond, except for the twitch of a muscle in his neck above the white collar that contrasted his sun-bronzed skin.
“It was a foolish plan. And I shouldn’t have agreed to come.” Her voice cracked, and she quickly bit her lip to hold back a swell of sorrow and heartache. She stared straight ahead and blinked back the wet heat that stung her eyes.
She was angry with herself for wishing he’d contradict her, wishing that he’d tell her the month had been the best in his life, even if their time together couldn’t last. But he was silent again. He didn’t speak until the shingles and clapboards of the Provincetown homes were visible and the calls of the fishermen along the seafront greeted them.
“I hate myself for hurting you,” he said so softly she almost missed it above the slap of the waves.
When she tilted up her wide-brimmed hat to get a better view of his face, she glimpsed a haunted sadness in the depths of his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Victoria.” The sincerity in his voice and expression was difficult to resist. She might be angry at herself for falling for him. But she couldn’t stay mad at him. It wasn’t his fault that she was leaving with a broken heart. He’d tried to maintain proper boundaries, hadn’t wanted to cross them, had tried hard not to. But she hadn’t heeded his warnings. She’d plunged forward like she usually did into relationships. Only this time she was the one leaving with the wounds instead of the other way around.
“I forgive you,” she said, realizing she could do nothing less, especially since she’d done the hurting all too many times with her previous relationships.
Tom’s brows rose, revealing his surprise at the ease of her forgiveness. “Thank you.” His whisper still contained a note of sadness that plucked at her empathy. He was hard on himself. Too hard. She guessed that’s why, even after all these years, he couldn’t forgive himself for what had happened to Zelma. She guessed he blamed himself for the loss of her feet and maybe even blamed himself for Ike’s death, although she didn’t see how he could, not if they were prisoners of war. Not if Zelma had made the decision for herself to try to save her sons.
“When you see Nathaniel, you have to continue with the plans.”
She shook her head. “I can’t deceive him.”
“Then wait to say anything until I can talk to him in private.”
She wanted to refuse. She’d been a part of enough deception during the past month, and it had only led to trouble. It was time to embrace honesty, even if it compromised her safety.
“I’ll explain the plan to him,” Tom continued, “but until then act like a bride-to-be.”
“It’s not fair to him if I—”
“He’ll understand.”
Nathaniel would do anything for her, even if it meant acting like they were getting married so that they could lure the nebulous attacker. Even so…
“Please.”
Was the bossy, stubborn, determined Thomas Cushman actually asking her to do something politely instead of demanding as he usually did? “Could you say that again?”
His expression was earnest. “Please, Victoria…”
She put a hand to her head and pretended to faint. “Oh, my. I can’t believe what I’m hearing.”
His brow lifted.
She tossed back her head and feigned shock. “You said please.”
A semblance of a grin quirked the corner of his mouth. “I’m capable of it on occasion.”
She sat up and smiled. “Very well. Since you asked so nicely, I’ll comply.”
“Comply?” It was his turn to feign shock. He held a hand to his heart and leaned back.
“I’m capable of it on occasion,” she retorted.
His grin broke free in all its breath-taking glory. And for just a moment, she felt as though they were on good terms again. But as the cutter brushed against the dock with a scrape, the bump jolted her back to reality, to the fact that she was going home.
Tom must have sensed it too, because his smile disappeared and his stoic bodyguard mask dropped into place.
As Jimmy secured the cutter, she twisted the simple wedding band beneath her glove, until finally she tugged off the tight satin and slipped the ring over her knuckle and into her palm. She stared at the ring, wrestling with the desire to keep