like she had every other time she’d attempted marriage. In fact, if Tom hadn’t intervened on her wedding day back in June, Victoria wouldn’t have made it to the carriage.
She hadn’t ever had the right man. And now she did. She had him. And this time, at their wedding, she’d have no reason to run.
Chapter 22
Victoria stood on the Provincetown dock and tried not to keep glancing with too much longing at the town behind her. The August morning was overcast and a brisk wind blew off the ocean. But even with the threat of rain and the gloomy gray of the low clouds, the view of the town with its neat rows of plain white houses, small shops, and austere hotel somehow seemed homey and welcoming. Even the salty fish odor emanating from the rows of drying cod didn’t nauseate her the same way it had the first day she’d arrived.
She realized that her perception had changed a great deal during the past weeks. She’d thought this seaport town on the tip of Cape Cod was dingy, run-down, and with little to offer a woman like her.
How mistaken she’d been. Now she saw it as a place where she could live simply without focusing so much on herself and what she could get out of life. Away from the busyness and the glamor of society, she could take a look at herself and try to discover who she really was.
“You’re absolutely sure I can’t persuade you to come back to Newport?” Nathaniel asked again, standing in front of her near the gangplank. He was attired in an elegant green and brown promenade suit and a matching hat that highlighted his green eyes. His fly-away hair was shorter than usual and his mustache was neatly trimmed.
“As much as I truly adore you, Nathaniel,” she said as she adjusted her parasol. “I’m simply not the woman you need.”
“I think you are,” he said in that same anguished tone he’d used before when trying to convince her to go through with the wedding.
She shook her head, once again feeling the weight of guilt for not having seen the incompatibility in their relationship much sooner. Even if she’d never met and fallen in love with Tom, she should have had enough sense to realize that she’d cared about Nathaniel for selfish reasons—for how he made her feel, what he gave her, the life he could provide, and how his status reflected so positively on her.
That wasn’t to say that she hadn’t cared about him, because she had. She’d enjoyed spending time with him. They’d had fun together. He’d been tender and sweet and considerate and giving. If she’d stayed with him, she might have had an easy life.
With Tom, she was sure to have more challenges. But she felt complete with him. He balanced her weaknesses. She didn’t have to pretend to be anyone but herself. He saw the good and the bad in her and accepted her regardless.
“Oh, Nathaniel,” she said, “you’ve been the perfect gentleman and lavished me with your gifts and love. But I haven’t appreciated all of your attention the way a woman ought to.”
“It doesn’t matter—”
“I know God has someone better for you. Someone who will need all you have to offer and will love you deeply in return.” She’d already returned his engagement ring, for the second time. And she planned to return all of the other jewels he’d given her during their courtship. She didn’t need them and prayed he’d find someone else to give them to soon.
She motioned to Arch, who was standing guard at the end of the dock. He had his arms crossed over his giant frame and scowled at any of the fishermen at the drying racks who stopped their work to stare at Victoria.
Even though her captors were in jail, Arch and Tom had both insisted that she have a bodyguard at all times. At least until they made sure Theresa and her family were brought to justice. Even now, Theresa was locked in a berth on the steamboat. Tom and Arch had already questioned her and learned that Theresa’s father had conspired with his daughter to prevent Victoria from marrying Nathaniel so that Theresa could have the chance. She admitted to having been behind Arch’s stabbing, that she’d purposefully dropped her glove and gone back to retrieve it so that Victoria would be by herself and more susceptible to an attack. It was the same tactic she used by leaving