how long the grass is. I don’t remember grass ever growing underneath the tree. Do you?”
She shakes her head. “No. I assumed it just didn’t grow well because of the shade. But maybe it didn’t grow because we were always back here, stomping it down.”
“I don’t know. Strange,” I mutter to myself.
“Here.” Lily removes her swimsuit cover-up.
“What are you doing?” I ask, almost panicked.
She giggles. “Calm down. I’m just getting something for us to sit on. All that grass would be scratchy, don’t ya think?” She fans the cover-up out in front of her and then places it on the grass at the base of the tree. She takes her foot and presses down on the fabric until it is fairly level. “Sit.” She gestures toward the ground.
I swallow. I’m having a hard time concentrating on anything but Lily’s bikini-clad body that is presented so perfectly in front of me. “Okay.”
I sit down, and she plops down next to me.
We sit in silence for a moment before she asks, “How are you doing?”
“I’m doing okay. Every day gets a little easier,” I admit. “How are you doing? How’s New York?”
“It’s great. I love it. I love my job. I love my roommate,” she says excitedly.
She launches into stories about Charlie, about her job at the marketing company, and about her dick of a boss, Ethan. I close my eyes and take in her words, absorbing her joy. I’ve missed this. I’ve missed talking to her and just hearing her stories. She’s always told the best stories.
She stops speaking for a moment before saying, “Are you listening to me?”
I open my eyes and look at her. “Of course I am.”
“Well, you looked like you were sleeping.”
“I’m just enjoying your voice, is all.”
She chuckles. “Could’ve fooled me. You appeared to be falling asleep.”
I shake my head. “Nope. Just listening.”
The truth is that her voice is such a turn-on that when it’s paired with her gorgeous body—which is conveniently sitting right next to me—and her beautiful face, it’s too much. I don’t want to go back to the place I was in April after we slept together.
“Okay, well, how about you talk since I’m putting you to sleep?”
I stare down at her bright blue eyes, my gaze drifting momentarily to her full lips. “You’re not putting me to sleep.” I grin.
“Well, I want to hear about what you’ve been up to.” She smiles.
“Not much to tell. I have a pretty boring life. I’m back to work now. So, I’ve basically thrown myself into my job, and that’s about it.”
“Amy says that you’ve gotten together a few times?”
“Yeah, I see Landon pretty regularly, and we’ve hung out with Amy several times, too. It’s nice, having them both so close.”
“I bet,” she agrees. “I miss that.” She pauses. “I love Charlie dearly, and she has become a great friend over this past year, but I miss being a drive away from home.”
I have to know even though I’m terrified of the answer. “Are you dating anyone?” I try to say casually, but it comes out rushed and pubescent.
“No,” she answers hesitantly.
“You don’t sound too sure about that.”
“I’m sure. I haven’t dated anyone since…well, you know.”
I’m assuming she’s referring to the douche face, and I don’t blame her for not wanting to talk about him. He was vile.
“I’m surprised,” I say.
“Why?” she asks, confused.
“Because you’re an amazingly beautiful woman. I just figured guys would be all over you.”
She sighs. “I’ve learned my lesson, Jax. I’m not interested in dating anyone.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I’m not making that mistake again. I’m already in love with someone, and I’m hoping that, someday, he will love me, too.”
“He already loves you.” My voice breaks.
Her response is quiet, not sure, “Maybe someday he will want me.”
“He does want you. He will always want you.”
“Then, why doesn’t he take me?”
“Because he’s broken, Lil, and you deserve someone who is whole.”
“You just don’t get it, do you?”
Her voice is loud now, and it startles me.
“This is what started everything—this whole notion that you weren’t enough for me the way you were. You listen to me, Jax.” She turns, so we are face-to-face. She points her finger into my chest. “You are it for me—always. You have to know that when you love someone, when you truly love someone the way I love you, it doesn’t matter what flaws you have or what mistakes you’ve made. You are enough to make me happy…just the way you are. I don’t love you because you’re perfect. I didn’t