Sitting here, I’m content. I love my job, my friends, and my life. Yet when I’m with Jax…that level of euphoria is indescribable. And I want it. I want him back.
“Earth to Lily.”
I look to Charlie, meeting her expectant stare.
“You back? You’ve been kind of staring off.”
“Sorry. I just don’t know what to do.” I chew on my bottom lip.
She shakes her head. “I don’t know what to tell you, Lil. But you really should finish your breakfast. Ethan is going to kill us if we’re late again.”
I wave my hand through the air in a dismissive motion. “Oh, please. He is all bark, no bite.”
Charlie’s eyes go wide, and she shakes her head in disagreement. “I’m not so sure about that. Besides, his bark alone is pretty terrifying. I would go out of my way to avoid it. So, hurry up.”
“Okay.” I take a big bite of my egg. I pack my laptop into its bag before throwing the strap across my shoulder, and then I grab my iced coffee off the table. “All right. Let’s go. Wouldn’t want Ethan to get his panties in a twist.”
“Yeah, I picture him more as a boxer-briefs kind of guy,” she jokes.
“Well, I don’t picture his underwear, period.”
I level a knowing gaze at her, and she looks away as we walk down the sidewalk.
She huffs. “Me neither,” she says indignantly. As we walk toward the office building, Charlie pipes up, “So, I saw you got flowers again yesterday.”
“Yeah,” I sigh. “I told him to stop sending them.”
“If you really want him to stop, you need to let him know you’re serious.”
“I have, but I’ll call him tonight. Happy?”
“It’s your call, chica. I personally love our apartment always smelling like fresh flowers. But if you don’t see yourself ever being open to a relationship with Rob, you need to make sure he understands.”
“I know. As I said, I’ll call him tonight.”
Rob continues to send me flowers every couple of weeks. He has been doing so for months. I suppose it’s his way of letting me know that he’s still interested, keeping himself in the forefront of my mind. Even though I’ve tried to explain it to him, he still doesn’t realize that someone else owns my mind, my heart, and my soul. No amounts of gorgeous flowers or sweet dates could ever change that.
After Jax’s wedding, I tried giving a relationship with Rob a chance. We never got further than some awesome dates and tame kisses. I simply couldn’t do it. I wanted to move on, but I wasn’t ready. I’m still not. I’d made the mistake of moving on before I was ready, and it’d almost cost me Jax forever. From that experience, I’ve learned to trust my heart, and right now, my heart is telling me to wait. So, I’ll wait.
Jax
It’s been almost four months since Stella died.
I’m in my mom’s kitchen, and she’s making some Jell-O salad dish to take over to the Madisons’. It’s Lily’s birthday, and she has come home for the weekend to celebrate with her family.
I was hesitant to come home, but Landon and my mom convinced me to. My mom just wants life to go back to normal, and I agree with her. In a normal world, Lily and I are the best of friends, and I would never miss her birthday.
I walk around the Madisons’ home. I can hear the voices on the back deck by the pool. The smell of meat cooking from the grill saturates the hot August air.
Miranda’s eyes widen when she sees me. “Jax! I didn’t know you would be here!” She walks toward me and pulls me into a hug.
She squeezes me tight, and I return her hug with as much enthusiasm. It’s great to see her.
“Well, it’s Lily’s birthday,” I offer as an explanation.
Her lips break into a smile that emits genuine warmth. “Lily’s by the pool.” Her arms hug me one more time before she releases me, standing back.
I make my way to the pool area and spot Lily sitting on a deck chair beneath a big umbrella. Keeley is sitting next to her, and the two of them are chatting away with big smiles on their faces. Lily looks stunning in her bikini, but then again, she looks incredible in anything. The sight of her pale skin, her curves, and her blonde hair cascading down her back is enough to do me in. Despite my internal protests, every bit of me wants every bit of her.