hers, and each stroke communicates my love to her.
I’m immediately brought back to reality when I hear the melodic deep voice of Elvis.
“Wise men say only fools rush in…”
I pull out of the kiss, my body stiffening. I quickly scan the area, and my eyes lock with Lily’s.
Lily stands rigid, her eyes wide and full of unshed tears. Her stare hits me with a tsunami of sadness. She smiles weakly and turns on her heel before quickly walking away.
I watch her retreating form, torn with indecision.
“Is everything okay?” Stella asks soothingly.
I swallow hard, the lump in my throat making it difficult to breathe. “Yeah. I have to…I just…saw…I need to…someone.” I take a deep breath, composing my thoughts. “Everything’s fine. I need to go talk to someone really quick. I’ll be right back.”
“Okay,” she answers.
But I don’t wait for her to say more. I leave my wife standing on the dance floor as I walk hastily out of the room.
I exit the hall. The night air is unseasonably warm for October, but it still carries a bite to it as it blows. I frantically scan the parking lot in search of Lily. I spot the light on in her car in the far corner of the lot, and I jog toward it.
Her back is to me as she packs her camera into a black bag. Her shoulders shudder, and I can hear her sobs.
“Little,” I plead quietly.
She freezes. Then, her hands come up to her face as she wipes the tears, still turned away from me. She speaks into her car, “I’m sorry. I’m going to call it a night. I got some great shots. You’re going to love them.”
I place my hand on her shoulder, and the connection sends a current of emotions through me. My knees buckle, and I have to will myself to stay standing. “Lil, please turn around. Talk to me.”
She shakes her head.
“Please. I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m so sorry. I told the DJ not to play that song. I don’t know what happened. I’m sorry for everything. Lil, please talk to me.” My voice cracks.
Lily slowly turns around as I drop my hand to my side. Her eyes radiate grief, and her gaze is paralyzing.
“No, it’s not your fault. I saw my mom talking to the DJ a few minutes ago. You know how much she loves that song. I’m sure it was her doing. She can be very convincing.” She gives me a faint smile. “I’m sorry, Jax. I thought I could do it. I wanted to do it. It was all just a lot more difficult than I ever imagined. I held out for as long as I could. But I just have to go.”
“Come here,” I say gently as I pull her into a hug.
Her arms wrap around my back, and she leans her face against my chest. She sniffles as tears continue to stream down her face. “Congratulations, by the way,” she whispers.
I hold her tighter, and my heart clenches as I realize that this is the first time we’ve truly spoken all day on what is supposed to be one of the most important days of my life. I have barely even acknowledged my best friend on my wedding day. The reality of how difficult today must have been for Lily sets in, and I’m devastated. I had Stella to occupy my mind, and even with that, it was excruciatingly painful to be so close to Lily. Yet Lily has braved the day all by herself.
I’m such an asshole.
“God, Lil. I’m so fucking sorry. I can’t even tell you how bad I feel right now. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you today. I’m just…ah!” I groan out. “This is all so hard. I don’t know how to make it right.”
She expels a forced laugh. “I don’t think there is a right way to do this.” She pulls out of my embrace, her blue eyes piercing mine. “I think it’s just going to take time.”
I nod, staring back at her. Our gazes lock, and our breaths dance in the space between us. So many emotions lie in that space along with so much history, so much love…and now, so much heartache. My stare flickers to her mouth. Her lips are plump and wet from crying. I’m overcome with an intense desire to kiss her, to feel her lips one more time.
I take a step back, breaking the string pulling me toward her.