The pastor clears his throat, and I hear some hushed laughter. I look to the pastor, and when I’m met with his patiently expectant stare, I realize that we missed our cue.
I clear my throat. “Sorry about that. We’re ready now. Can you say that again?”
I wink toward Stella, and she giggles.
I’m holding Stella’s hands in mine, gently running my thumbs back and forth across her soft skin. “I, Jax, take you Stella…” I repeat the words as instructed.
A movement catches my attention. Looking past Stella’s shoulder, I see Lily on one knee. Her camera is against her face, her finger pressing a button on the top. She is close enough that I can see the tears streaming down her face. Her one eye is closed while the other is hidden behind the camera lens. But I don’t have to look into her eyes to know what I’d find there. The vision alone brings me so much grief.
I briefly stumble on my words, a flash of remorse coursing through my heart.
Get it together. Get it together, I chant internally.
I work to shut off my Lily emotions. They are trying to get out, and if they do, I won’t be able to make it through this day. I can’t do that to Stella. This is the only wedding she’ll get. It is her dream. I will not ruin it for her. Blocking Lily out is taking so much more strength than I could have ever imagined.
I focus again on Stella’s face. “To be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part.”
Thankfully, the remainder of our vows goes flawlessly.
I don’t allow my eyes to search out Lily again. I keep them zeroed in on Stella at all times. I don’t focus on the part of my heart that is breaking. I concentrate on the part I’ve given to Stella, and it is happy.
Throughout the service, I can’t help but feel so greedy for soaking up all the love that Stella is emitting. I haven’t worked for it, yet I receive the benefit—the most remarkable feeling of bliss. There is something about being around someone who is so unequivocally happy. It is indescribable. I’m so thankful for it because it is giving me the strength I need. Joy radiates from Stella’s pores and affects everyone in attendance. I know every person in this church feels it.
We all leave the ceremony on cloud nine, each of us experiencing joy personified through Stella. It is a rare space in time, void of sadness, heartache, guilt, or worry. The love is so strong that it pushes everything else out, only leaving room for itself. For as long as I live, I will remember it.
“What’s that smile for?” Stella’s voice brings me back to the present.
I look up from the glass of water that had me in a trance. Sitting to my side at the head table, she flashes me an easy grin, making my heart stutter.
“I was just thinking back to the ceremony,” I respond, leaning in to whisper soft kisses on her lips.
She opens her eyes, now cloudy with need. “And?”
“And I loved every minute of it.”
Her gaze widens, her expression hopeful. “Really?”
“Really.” I nod.
I see a ghost of doubt cross her face.
“Stell, I didn’t marry you because I had to. I married you because I wanted to. You are one of the most incredible people I have ever known. You make me a better person. I love you. What you gave me today was a gift that I will never be able to repay. You have made me the happiest person in the world. I am so fortunate to have you. I mean that.”
Her eyes fill with tears. “You should have written your own vows.” Her lips turn up into a grin.
I chuckle.
She continues, “Everything you just said, multiply it by one hundred, and that is how I feel right now. You have no idea what this day means to me. You are the best thing to ever happen to me, Jax Porter. I wouldn’t trade my life with you for ten more lifetimes without you.”
My heart plummets in my chest, and I pinch my lips together and breathe in through my nose. My eyes brim with tears as I stare into Stella’s. Heavy tears are now falling from her hazel eyes.