down with my issues. I want her to go off to college and have the time of her life over these next two years.
She snuggles into my side and rests her head on my chest. “I’m going to miss you.”
“I know. Me, too.”
With Lily away at college, she isn’t going to be able to visit me as much as she has in the past.
“I love you.”
“I love you more. Always,” I say before kissing the top of her head. I position my arm across her back, so I can hold her close.
I want to savor this moment.
It’s so crazy that life is made up of one stressful situation after another, like how I’ve been busting my ass to be the best. Yet it is these simple moments, the ones that carry no expectations, that are the most rewarding. Lying under this tree and holding my girl is the happiest I’ve been in a month. In this situation, there’s nothing to win, no one to beat.
I only have to be.
We lie here in silence, which is only broken by our breaths and the tranquil sounds of nature surrounding us. I absorb the love and happiness floating around me. I hope to always remember that all that truly matters in this world are moments like this. The rest of it, compared to the whole scheme of life, is unnecessary chaos.
Ben hovers over me as I talk to the florist. I attempt to shoo him away with my hand, but he lingers.
“That’s right,” I say into my phone. “Great. Thank you.” I hang up.
“You’re one pathetic dude,” he says to me.
I drop my phone on the couch. “Shut it.”
“So, how many bouquets did you send her? Did I hear you say five?”
“Yep. She’ll be getting five bouquets of lilies.”
Ben chuckles next to me before tossing a chip into his mouth. He crunches down on it as he talks, “She sure has you wrapped around her finger.”
“Maybe.” I shrug. “But, unlike you, I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. I love her. With our crazy schedules, I won’t be able to see her, let alone talk to her much, tomorrow on her twenty-first birthday, so I don’t think showing her that I love her is a bad idea. Someday, when you possess the maturity of someone older than a freshman in high school, you will understand.”
There is laughter in his voice when he speaks, “No, I get it. I’m just yanking your chain. If you remember, I had a long-term girlfriend. I was very good to Kristyn. I know what it entails.”
“Yeah, well, the difference lies in the fact that I still have my girlfriend, and you couldn’t hold on to yours.”
His eyes swing in my direction. “Maybe I didn’t want to hold on to her. Ever think of that? No one marries their high school sweetheart, Jax.”
I shrug. “Some people do.”
“Name someone.” He throws another chip into his mouth, loudly crunching on it.
I think for a moment. No one I know has been in the same relationship since high school, but we come from a small town, so my pool of people isn’t very big.
“Me,” I say confidently because I know I’ll marry Lily someday.
“Nope. You can’t count yourself. You’re not married to Lily. You never know what’s going to happen.”
“Really? Do you think I’m going to end up marrying someone other than Lily?”
After a few beats, he relents, “No, I don’t. You’ll marry her.”
I grin. “See? There you go.”
“Yeah, but you are definitely in the minority.”
“Maybe, but I’m cool with that.”
I’m counting down the days, anticipating the time when it will all make sense, when all the pieces will fit into place so that I can finally see the full picture, the reason for it all. Right now, I feel like I’m doing a lot of shit that is causing me nothing but stress.
I observe my life like an outsider, seeing myself going through the motions. I’ve been giving my all for my family, my professors, my coaches, the football scouts, and my future. It’s physically and emotionally draining to always be the best. I hear people say that it comes so easily to me, but the fact of the matter is, nothing in life comes easy. If I make it look easy, it’s because I’ve worked three times as hard as the person next to me. It’s because I’ve given all of myself to succeed, and it’s sometimes more than I have to give.