and set her down. “You’re not.”“
“Even now that you know I don’t have the first clue how to treat a human and that my focus is always on animals? I mean, honestly, the goat is lucky I even noticed him since he’s not a penguin.”
“Nope. And you’re going to feel even worse when I tell you that I just carried you across the yard so the gator wouldn’t get you even after dislocating my shoulder three days ago.”
She frowned. “You dislocated your shoulder?”
“Yep, happens periodically.” He rotated his left arm. “I dislocated it the first time in football in high school. Now it slides in and out pretty easily. The other day I was up on some scaffolding and misjudged a step and ended up on the floor from several feet up. Shoulder popped out and my brother and Michael had to put it back in.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Did it hurt?”
“Like a son of a bitch.”
“You should probably be more careful with it.”
He huffed out a laugh. “Not even a thank you for sacrificing to carry you in here?”
“Well, if it hurts, or would’ve been detrimental, I’m going to assume you wouldn’t have done it.”
“You’re going to assume I always make the right choices?”
She shook her head. “I’m going to assume you understand there are consequences when you make decisions, good or bad. You’re a grown up, after all.”
That was fair enough. So, she wasn’t overly worried. Hell, he’d known from the very first night that she wasn’t actually the nurturing type. Unless he was black and white and had feathers, he wasn’t getting too much TLC from this woman.
She looked around his kitchen. “So why am I over here? I really need to do laundry.”
“So use my washer and dryer.”
Her eyes widened. “You have a washer and dryer?”
“Yes, Jill, I have a washer and dryer.”
“Surely you can understand why I might be surprised by that.”
“Because my mother did laundry for me once?”
“Once?”
“Okay, she does it for me periodically. But yes, I have a washer and dryer and even use them occasionally.” He leaned in. “Which means that you will no longer be using my brother’s. Or anything else of his. You don’t need to be going to my brother’s house at all.”
“What if I need butter? You don’t even have butter in your fridge.”
“Do you need butter? Because I’ll fucking get a barrel of it.”
“I don’t need butter.”
“So stop pushing me.”
She tipped her head, studying him. “Are you jealous?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Do we have a relationship that would make it appropriate for you to be jealous?”
“Is that how jealousy works? It only happens when it’s appropriate and reasonable?”
“Okay, good point.”
“But yes, I think it’s reasonable in this case. We’re sleeping together. He’s my brother. He looks just like me, so he’s obviously pretty fucking hot. It would make sense that you might be attracted to him. Except, of course, he’s an asshole.”
“Funny, he said the same thing about you.”
“Did he? Well, you ask around. If it’s between me and Zander, he’s definitely more of an asshole.”
“And we’re sleeping together?”
“Not as regularly as I would like, but yes.”
“We haven’t seen each other in a few days. I thought maybe you’d lost interest.”
“Definitely not. I’ve been thinking about you every night when I’m jerking off in bed.”
Her eyes widened, but she didn’t seem scandalized so much as turned on.
“You said you needed some time with your penguins. And honestly, at this point, I’m hoping to see some baby penguin chicks waddling around in that habitat really soon. And I’m hoping that when there’s a couple eggs in those nests that I helped you put together, you’re gonna want to have some celebratory nookie.”
“Celebratory nookie? Yeah, I think I will.”
“Awesome. And, for the record, anything else you want to celebrate that way, you know where to find me.”
“So now I’m using your refrigerator and your washer and dryer,” Jill said. “It seems maybe I should be thinking about ways to pay you back.”
He leaned in. “Does that mean I can come and see the penguins again?”
She paused, then laughed. “Seriously? You’d rather come see the penguins?”
“Rather? What’s my other option?”
Jill set her laundry basket on his center kitchen island.
“I think I was offering you sex in exchange for the use of your appliances.”
13
Well, that was new and definitely not unwelcome. “So is this a test?” Zeke asked. “Like if I take you up on that, I’m the asshole twin? Or is that a legit offer?”
“It’s actually my way of saying that I