I feel my chest ache, and I wish we didn’t have these responsibilities that keep us on different paths. He doesn’t say anything, just watches me with an unreadable expression.
Unable to just keep standing here with this odd atmosphere between us, I turn and peer around to check that no one is watching before giving him one, last glance over my shoulder and taking a step outside of the shield.
As soon as I walk out, it’s like nothing ever happened. I look around and see only an empty courtyard. All of a sudden, I feel a cold, harsh burst of wind whistling past me, making me pull my cloak closer around my body. Without looking back, no matter how much I wish to, I leave the courtyard and head to my room.
Over the next couple of days, we fall into a grim routine. Every morning I meet with Wilson and I’m taken to work in the underground room with Vaeril. After that, I get cleaned up and I’m escorted to another meal in the great hall where, inevitably, several ladies lose their lives. The second evening there were noticeably less people who attended, and the next morning those who were absent were executed along with their escorts. No one missed the meal after that.
After that first invitation, no one has refused to eat the chocolate and a sort of hierarchy has been established. There’s a group of six women who seem to be favoured by the prince, plus their fathers are close with the king, or they provide the kingdom with some great service that keeps them in favour. Aileen and I stick close together and socialise with others as little as we can get away with, but I know her father is taking the prospect of his daughter dying hard, and he gets quieter each time we see him.
Once Wilson has escorted me back to my room, I lock myself in and pray to the Mother that I will make it through another day. Some evenings I escape to the courtyard, and I feel bad that I haven’t told Wilson about this, but I don’t want to get him dragged into trouble if it all goes wrong. Plus, I know he would want to come with me, and we are much more likely to be caught if there are two of us. I don’t visit Tor every evening, since I don’t want people to get suspicious, but those nights I don’t visit him, I’m plagued with thoughts and visions of him being caught. I also haven’t seen Jacob since the day he took me to the courtyard and warned me about his brother. I fear for the kind prince who made me feel special, and the longer I go without seeing him, the more I worry, my dreams insisting that he’s in trouble, desperately calling my name for help.
“You look tired today,” Vaeril comments from the forge, pulling my attention over to him. I’ve been down here for several hours now and he’s been very quiet, hardly saying a word to me, but he’s been watching me, his gaze heavy on my back as I scrub the floors. Looking up from my task, I raise my eyebrows, seeing that he’s much closer than I expected.
“You’re not supposed to say that to a lady, it’s insulting,” I quip, not in the mood for insults today. I’d been up most of the night pacing my room, worrying about Tor and the children he’s helping escape. We haven’t had a chance to talk about my past since that first evening, since more and more families have been coming to us for aid. Sooner or later we are going to have to stop. The missing servants will be noticed, and the guards and priests will start monitoring people’s movements more.
Vaeril is silent for a few moments as he takes in what I just said, his brow furrowed. “But you’re not a lady.”
“Charming!” I bark out a laugh, shaking my head and returning to my work. I know he doesn’t mean to insult me, he just took my statement literally—that I am, in fact, not a lady. Again, silence falls over us, just the sounds of the fire roaring in the forge and the scrape of my brush against the floor ringing in the large space.
“Did I offend you?” His voice is much closer this time, and when I look up, I find him only a few steps away. He’s wearing a questioning expression