they would never have put you down there with me if they knew you could free me,” he finishes, watching me carefully as his fingers continue to stroke the delicate skin on my wrist, the caress awakening desire within me.
We’re quiet for a long time, just basking in each other’s company, his fingers moving higher and higher up my arm with each stroke. I want to lose myself in these feelings, just to be close to someone, to feel wanted, but there’s something I just can’t push away.
“I don’t know where I belong. I had hoped to make a home here, but I see that’s not an option.” My voice is breathy, so it doesn’t have the effect I had been going for, but Vaeril stops stroking my arm, a slight frown pulling at his brow.
“You will always have a home with me, whether you accept the bond or not. A home isn’t any one physical place, it’s somewhere you feel safe. The people around you make a home. I can do that.” My chest aches, and I believe him. I know he would care for me, even if I chose not to accept this bond between us. But it’s never just been Vaeril.
My heart squeezes painfully in my chest as it’s gripped by fear that I’m about to wreck everything. He’s just offered me his world, and I’m about to tell him it’s not enough. “What about my...friends?”
There’s a heavy pause as he mulls over my question, knowing I’m not talking about Aileen and Wilson. “The mage? The man from the mountains?”
Nodding, I bite my lip. Other than a kiss, nothing else has happened with either of them, but I’m pulled to them just as much as I am to Vaeril. I don’t mention the bond with them, not yet, not until I figure out more about how it works.
“I can help you forget about them.” He rises on his knees, his voice soft as his hands land on my thighs, sliding slowly up as he moves in closer, lighting a fire inside me.
My throat is tight. I know what’s about to happen, and I want to give into it, I’m desperate to give into it, but I need him to know how much they mean to me. “I don’t know if I can ever forget—”
“Clarissa,” he interjects, his face so close to mine now that I can feel his breath against my skin. “I can be everything you need,” he promises.
“Vaeril—”
His lips are a hairbreadth away from my own, but he pauses, waiting for me to speak, for me to make the first move. My mind scrambles, so focused on the elf before me and how good it feels to be here with him. In moments like this, I can almost forget everything that’s happened, it’s just him and me. I know if I pull away, tell him I’m not ready, he will respect that decision, but that’s not what I want.
Surging forward, I close the gap between us, a noise of surprise escaping from his throat which quickly disappears when he kisses me back. He moans, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me onto his lap so I’m straddling him. Embracing him, I press myself against his body, feeling the evidence of his desire for me. I’ve had sex a couple of times in my life, but they were always hurried, desperate needs for release, yet this is different. I feel like he’s consuming me, or that my desire is so fierce that it will consume me if I don’t state this need within me.
All of a sudden, he pulls away with a pained look on his face. He rests his forehead against mine, and I notice his chest is rising and falling in rapid movements like my own, his breath quick as he tries to clear his head enough to speak.
“Clarissa, wait,” he starts, before pausing when my hands slide up under his shirt, my fingers moving over the scars on his back. “The bond, we need to talk about sealing it.”
“I don’t want to talk about the bond anymore,” I whisper against his lips.
With a confidence I didn’t know I possessed, I bite his lower lip, and his resulting growl sends a flash of need straight to my core.
“Clarissa—” His hand threads into my hair and twists, gently pulling me back so he can stare at me. “You are perfect.” Looking into his eyes, I can see he’s fighting a battle, but I’ve had enough of waiting.
My cheeks flush at his appraisal, which only makes his smile grow. He releases my hair, and our lips crash back together like there’s a magnet pulling us towards one another, my hands on his shoulders as I draw him against me.
I’m so consumed by him that it takes a while for the sound to cut through my bliss, and it’s only at Vaeril’s growl that I pull away and realise someone is pounding on the door.
“Vaeril!” Naril’s shout is muffled, but the warning in his voice is clear. Whatever is going on outside is enough to ruffle the feathers of the warrior brothers, so it must be a threat.
We look at each other before jumping to our feet and rushing towards the door, and even I can hear the arguing and shouting in the corridor as someone makes their way towards us.
Is someone trying to attack us? No, they wouldn’t be arguing if we were under attack.
Vaeril takes a step in front of me, his face barely recognisable as he snarls, dropping into a defensive stance. “I will protect you,” he tells me, his voice more guttural than I’m used to hearing from him. I’m about to open my mouth, to say, something, anything, but I hear a shout that makes me freeze.
“Clarissa!”
The door suddenly flies open, broken off its hinges. Vaeril is trying to hold me back, but I need to get past him—I have to see the person who called my name. I manage to slip under the elf’s arm, only to come to an immediate stop. The tall figure is one I recognise, his body heaving as he raises his axe, resting it on his shoulder. “I found you.”
Eldrin and Naril appear behind him with anger and frustration on their faces as they stare at the intruder. “You know him?” Eldrin growls, and I know he would like nothing more than to throw him out of the closest window.
I’m not dreaming, this is really happening. Taking a step forward, I run my eyes over the familiar man in front of me, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes.
“Tor?”
This book wouldn’t be what it is without my alpha and beta readers, and as always, I’m so grateful for their input. Thank you to my amazing editor, Jess, from Elemental Editing and Proofreading, and to Bookish Dreams Editing for proofreading this for me. Kaila, your supreme formatting skills amaze me, thank you for dealing with my panicked voice messages and fixing everything for me.
Of course, my long-suffering husband and mother were instrumental in getting this book finished by offering emotional support and endless cups of coffee.
Most of all, thank you, the reader, for continuing with Clarissa’s story.
The Shadowborn Series:
Hunted by Shadows
Lost in Shadow
Embraced by Shadows
The War and Deceit Series:
Fires of Hatred
Fires of Treason
Erin O’Kane and K.A Knight
Her Freaks Series:
Circus Save Me
Taming the Ringmaster
The Wild Boys:
The Wild Interview
The Wild Tour
Erin O’Kane and Loxley Savage
Twisted Tides
Erin lives in the UK with her husband and sassy rabbit, Jethro. She works part time as a healthcare worker, and the rest of the time writes the stories that fill her brain. She started writing in 2018 when she published her first book, Hunted by Shadows. Soon after, she met K. A. Knight they and began writing together.