“You’re used to that, aren’t you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Taking what you want without considering the practicalities or social restrictions. Must everything be about pleasure and immediate self-gratification? Is that all you want?”
“Clara,” he whispered as he sat up. “Don’t.”
She continued whispering angrily, as if he hadn’t spoken. “Can you not abide by society’s rules just this once and suffer through the usual betrothal?” She reached for her nightgown and pulled it on over her head, then climbed off the bed and walked to the window where she stood with her back to him.
Seger raked a hand through his hair. “Something tells me there is more to that question than the obvious.”
It almost seemed as if she wanted to make him wait—in order to use their engagement as a test of his ability to resist temptations.
She merely shrugged.
He climbed off the bed and went to her. He stood behind her, feeling the soft fabric of her gown against his nude front. He tried to ignore the urge to take her into his arms, carry her back to the bed and plunge into her again, to go back to the way they were feeling only a few moments ago.
“I don’t deserve this,” he whispered. “I’ve never taken what I wanted from you when I had every opportunity. Even tonight I would have resisted if you had not been so persistent.”
The fact that he was even discussing this was astonishing. Any of his previous lovers would be shocked to see him defending himself like this. It was a tremendous concession, and he wished she knew that.
She dropped her face into her hands. “Maybe you should go.”
“Go? Why?” He tried to keep the shock and anger out of his voice because he was afraid that if he didn’t, someone might hear them. He had to keep this argument to a whisper. “What’s this really about?”
She said nothing for a few seconds, then turned to face him. Her eyes were filling with tears. “I’m nervous about marrying you.”
He tried not to let her confession vex him, but it did. It damn well did. He had come forward leaps and bounds to reach this point with her. He had proposed to her, for pity’s sake!
She bowed her head. “You can’t blame me for being unsure. I am a prime target for fortune hunters, and you have made it very clear that you don’t truly love me. How can I be sure you will be a good husband?”
He backed away from her. “I am no fortune hunter. You know that.”
She merely stared at him.
“This is about my being faithful to you,” he said.
God, women were so bloody complicated. Normally, he would walk away when his bed partner began to talk like this, or even hint at talking like this, but with Clara, he couldn’t. He was in for the long haul and there was no turning back now. Not after what they’d done tonight.
She let out a heavy breath. “If you can’t endure two months, how can I be sure you’ll be able to endure any reasonable length of time in a marriage? Sometimes there are temptations, and I’m afraid you are not even going to try to resist them. What about when I am enormous with child and unable to perform my wifely duty? What if I become ill? I won’t be attractive to you then. Will you go back to your usual entertainments?”
He turned away from her and picked up his trousers. “Maybe I should go.”
She watched him pull them on. The volume of her voice rose a fraction. “Wait, Seger.”
“The servants will be up soon.”
He donned his shirt, then sat down on a chair to pull on his boots in a hurry. He wanted to get out of there. He felt her hovering over him. Women never did that to him. They knew better than to push. They knew that if he was going to return another day, they would have to let him go without a fight.
He felt impatient with Clara, for he was not accustomed to rules or controls. For eight years he had lived freely. He had steered away from responsibility and commitment.
He didn’t like feeling impatient with her. She was different from the others. He didn’t want to feel this way with her, but he supposed that old habits were not so easy to change. This bloody boot!
Clara followed him around the bed. “I didn’t mean to make you angry. It’s just that a lot has happened these past few