but tension still hummed through his body. Of course Slate was holding me to soothe himself, like his own teddy bear.
That meant no sleep for me until Slate managed it himself. Sub drop could be fierce, especially for the inexperienced.
It was hard to tell how much experience he had—I didn’t recognize him from the club, and the details of this house told me he wasn’t new to town, but that harness wasn’t brand-new, either. It could be another wave of sub drop, or… it could be fear.
How could I possibly sleep with that thought on my mind?
In… and out…
What was Slate afraid of? Or should I say, who?
It was clear that he and Isaac had been intimate, or Isaac had wanted them to be. Slate had frozen like a statue in the taxi, and after getting home, he clearly hadn’t wanted to talk about him. Only a warning, or a plea for help, in telling me that Isaac knew where he lived.
Should I have pushed him to talk? No—he had to trust me on his own terms, and he clearly wasn’t there yet. Tomorrow, before I left, I’d try to coax the story out of him.
Christ, I wished I could unburden this poor boy’s spirit and ease him to sleep right now. He might be older than me, but that part of me I didn’t understand had already chosen him. Like a dragon choosing its mate, I’d curled around him all fierce and protective. Not being able to help felt like cutting a piece of my own heart out.
In and out. Just breathe, I repeated my mantra. But I knew it wouldn’t make any of this better.
We hardly knew each other. I shouldn’t be interested in this intimacy we were sharing. I certainly shouldn’t be worrying about his future. I’d just opened my own business, for God’s sake. My own life couldn’t be further from my mind as I lay still, listening to Slate’s breathing hitch and feeling every twitch and subtle squirm of his body.
There he went again, shuffling against the sheets very quietly behind me.
I might have thought it was blue balls, if not for the events of this long night. But there wasn’t a boner to be found. And even if there had been… I wouldn’t be convinced.
However much he seemed to want me to, I wasn’t going to take advantage of him. I didn’t consent to be used in that way. Was it weird to dig my heels in about that? I’d hurt and soothed plenty of boys who wanted, for their own unspoken reasons, what I could give them.
Slate was different.
However much it would make us both feel better for the next hour, I wasn’t letting that wild part of me loose from the tight lead I kept it on.
I cracked my eyes open to peer at the alarm clock on the bedside table. It was past two in the morning.
Would this night never end?
My frustration wasn’t for a moment directed at Slate. One hundred percent of the blame fell on Isaac’s shoulders. If I could turn back time, maybe I would have sent Slate home alone and then ripped Isaac a new one as soon as he was gone.
But then I wouldn’t be here, that selfish part of me whispered, and I like it. Every inch of Slate’s body pressed up against mine, like the missing drumline slotted into the music of my body.
So maybe it was better I hadn’t been arrested for assaulting Isaac tonight.
Okay, this is enough.
“Mmm.” Decision made, I groaned softly, turning gradually onto my back to give Slate a chance to pull his arm back before I crushed it. When he did, I turned onto my other side and faced him, sliding an arm around him and nudging him until I was the one spooning him.
It felt a little bit silly, like clinging onto the side of a mountain, but he gripped my wrist and pulled my arm tighter around his chest.
“Are you going to be able to sleep at all?” I asked in a whisper as I nuzzled the back of his neck. “When Isaac knows where you are, and that I’m here?”
No dancing around the asshole’s name, giving him the power of a shadow slipping through the dark corners of Slate’s mind.
Slate’s back went stiff, and he caught his breath. It suddenly felt like I was hugging a pile of bricks except that under my palm, the gorgeous, fragile boy’s heart thumped as if it was trying to