is.”
Amii gave him a pitying look. “You gave up a powerful memory to wear that skin. It will take something equally powerful to remove it. Something you two have in swathes, if you’d get your heads out of your own asses.”
Panic caged his heart in ice. “I don’t—I don’t want to remove it. I’m not Konstantin.”
“But you are.”
“No… This is me now. I’m Severn.” I’m the angel Mikhail loves. Gods, he couldn’t go back to being Konstantin. Not now. Not after Mikhail had finally accepted him, and he’d accepted himself this way. “If this is about love, as you say it is, you can’t ask me to change again.”
“Who and what you are is the final truth. It must be told.”
“No.” He looked to Mikhail and wished he hadn’t because the sadness in his eyes already felt like a goodbye. If he lost his angelness, Mikhail wouldn’t love him. Of that, he was certain.
Amii rose to their feet, old bones creaking. They approached Severn and cupped his face in their soft, wrinkled hands. “Love is not fed with the eyes,” they said softly. “It comes from within, and you are the same within now as you’ve always been. A demon with a proud, honorable heart, full of love. Mikhail loves you, not your illusion.”
Severn closed his eyes. Amii’s touch fell away, and he found himself afraid to open his eyes, to see. When he did, Mikhail was there, in place of Amii, searching Severn’s face, his expression soft.
“I’ll give you two some time, but the final battle is brewing. Do not delay too long, Severn. Demonkind hinges on your bravery and sacrifice.”
He turned his face away, half watching the mysterious demon leave, mostly to keep from seeing Mikhail. It didn’t matter. He couldn’t be Konstantin. He’d tried. Everyone had tried. Amii was wrong. The angel in him was not coming off.
Chapter 34
Mikhail
Severn suffered. It wasn’t a physical suffering, but a suffering of the heart, and Mikhail felt what must have been a similar pain inside of himself. He touched Severn’s cheek, making him look up. “If I could take your hurt away, I would.”
Severn’s pale lashes fluttered closed. He leaned into Mikhail’s hand and covered it with his own. “What Amii is asking is impossible.” Pale blue eyes looked up again, wide and bright, and full of hurt. He was afraid. Mikhail had seen Severn afraid a thousand times before plunging into battle, but not like this. Real fear.
He moved closer, leaving no room between them, and tilted Severn’s chin up. “You were always the impossible angel.”
Severn turned his head away and moved back. He thrust his hands into his hair and paced the small room in a few strides. “I’ve…” He glanced up.
“Say it.”
“We’ve just found each other, for real this time. A miracle all of its own. If I let go of this illusion, everything will be different. I’ll be different.” He dropped his hands and swore. “I can’t. I don’t even know how.” Back and forth, he marched. “The memory I gave up, it was from the final battle, the one where… where you took my wings. Clearly it was powerful. Even if I wanted to let go of this, what power can match that?”
Mikhail stepped into his path, abruptly halting him in place. The angel who looked at him was the most marvelous angel he’d ever known, and that would never change. But the crone was right, Severn was a lie. The final lie.
“I have not been the most understanding,” Mikhail admitted, making Severn smile. “I have much to learn, and I am trying to find my way. Everything I thought I knew was a lie, including you.” Severn opened his mouth to interrupt, but Mikhail plowed on. “But the crone, Amii, is right. Inside, you are you. The only lie, which remains, is on the outside. In there”—he touched Severn’s chest, over his heart, and Severn looked down—“you’re who I learned to love. You stood at my side for years. You’re who I turned to when I could not find the answers. You were my guiding light when I was lost.”
Severn wrapped his fingers around Mikhail’s and lowered his hand. “But I betrayed all that,” he said, sadly.
“You told me you loved me. You said that was no lie. I believe you.”
“I do love you. I love your strength, your sense of righteousness, I love how you’ll always do the right thing, even if it takes you a while to figure out what that is.