Escaping Parker - F.T. Zele Page 0,45
I almost forget he’s there.
“I’m getting there,” I say as we wander aimlessly around the property, ending up back at the lake.
Feeling hot and just plain tired, I look at the lake, and then back at Rig. I just go with it, and run into the water.
The second the cool water hits my skin, I feel weightless. I’m floating around, nothing in my way, recognizing that it’s going to take me some time. After everything I’ve been through, I have nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s ok to have off days as long as the good days overshadow the bad. I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. I take in my current surroundings, letting them wash over me—bringing in the good and taking out the bad with each ripple of the water. I know this is the beginning of a new life I deserve. I look over to Rig, who stands there watching me splash around, and the smile on his face does so much to calm the craziness in my head.
“Are you coming in?” I yell out to him.
“I’m enjoying watching you.”
“Well, I’d smile more if you came in. It’s really nice in here,” I urge.
He stands at the edge and yells, “Cannon ball.” Water splashes in my face and waves slosh around me.
“See, doesn’t it feel better in here?” I say, keeping myself floating in place.
“It does. Want to race?” he asks, pointing to the middle of the lake.
“Sure, go!” I take off swimming as fast as I can to get a head start.
Once I get to the middle I turn around, seeing he isn’t far behind me. If I wasn’t so sure of my swimming abilities, I would say he is letting me win.
“I win!” I yell out, as he makes his way back to where I am.
“I think you cheated. I wasn’t ready,” he protests.
“Stop being a sore loser, you know I won.” I send a spray of water in his face. “Thank you for getting my mind off of things today.”
“I’m glad I could help. Just happy you’re feeling better.” He swims closer to me, and it suddenly gets thick between us.
He pushes a piece of my hair back from my face, intently looking into my eyes. The hold is strong I can’t look away. Without warning, his lips find their way to mine. He kisses me softly and butterflies take flight in my stomach. For the first time, I don’t see conflict in his eyes. I see him, doing something he wants to do without making excuses.
He grabs my hands underwater, pulling me close to him. Linking my fingers around his waist, I feel the warmth of his body pressed tightly against mine. He kicks his feet below us to keep us afloat. I move my arms to his neck, holding on, and I kiss him passionately—the way I do in my dreams. I don’t ever want to wake up. Breaking the kiss, I’m nervous to look him in the eyes and see regret etched in them. So I close my eyes and savor the moment.
“Parker, look at me.” I do what he asks. “I’ve wanted to do that all day.”
I get a little self-conscious, making it hard to look at him.
“I don’t want to hurt you. You’ve been hurt enough, and I can’t promise anything to you. It’s been hell trying to fight these feeling, trying to make them go away when they are everything I think of. I want to protect you. I want to help you get back what that asshole stole from you. I just don’t know if I can do it, and not break your heart when this is all over. I will eventually leave, and I don’t want to give you some false hope that I will stay,” he explains.
“Why do we even have to think about that right now?”
“Because I don’t ever want to mislead you. I’m just trying to be honest with you. This is very hard for me, and I’m breaking one of my own rules here. I can’t stand pushing you away every time we get close, and I can’t do it anymore.”
“I don’t know what to say.” For the first time with him, I’m speechless. I don’t have some witty comeback, or some long talk on how I’m right and he’s wrong.
“Just tell me you understand, and you aren’t expecting some grand gesture from me later on, or I can stop this now. Your choice,” he says, and all I can do is