me that, while Rafe is a secret, undercover agent, he still runs a legitimate business. Sure, he may have inherited it from his father and uses it mostly as a cover, but when I watch him on the construction site, I know he was born for this, no matter how much his parents wanted him to go into the medical field. The more I think about it, it’s the perfect cover. I know Rafe enjoys the construction business more than he lets on, and I wonder if, when all is said and done, he’ll retire from the agency and fully commit to Matthews.
It makes me realize that we haven’t talked about the future, and to be honest, I’m not sure I’m ready. We’re having a baby together, so it’s inevitable, of course, but there’s still so much more to learn about each other. And until we have this whole mess behind us, I’m scared we won’t be able to move forward. Then again, I guess that’s the thing about pregnancies. You don’t always have a say in the timing. You just have to be ready. I hope like hell we will be.
Despite my initial fears, I’m comfortable at the trailer. Rafe orders me to the lock the door every morning when he leaves. He’s the only one with the key, and with the pepper spray he forced into my purse, I feel safe. It doesn’t stop him from checking up on me every hour or so, and it’s driving me crazy.
Our nights are spent in front of the television or at the dining table, scouring the files Adrian had on my father and me. Rafe has others ones from the case against Theo, but I haven’t asked to study them. While I appreciate his honesty with me, I’m not ready to ask him to reveal everything, no matter how curious I may be. It’s unfair to him, and I’m not sure I’m ready to go down that rabbit hole, either. Who knows what I may discover about my father? I’m content staying in blissful ignorance, but as the days go by and there’s no word from Agent Howard or anything on Adrian, the antsier I become.
I still can’t figure it out, and I’m more anxious than ever to get to Chicago. Why the hell did he choose me? Where is Adrian? And even though I shouldn’t care, did he ever honestly love me? I don’t want to think he was lying the entire time. There was something in his expression that final night—desperation and anguish in his voice—that leads me to believe what he was saying. He was trying to protect me. But from what?
Or am I just trying to rationalize his actions? Hell, my actions? Am I trying so hard to believe he was a good man so I don’t feel so damn foolish for having fallen for him?
After about the hundredth time of looking through my file, I toss it onto the coffee table. Something’s missing. There’s some dot I’m not connecting. There are so many pieces of this puzzle in front of me, and I have no idea how or where I fit in. And it can’t be put together because all the pieces aren’t here.
Not to mention the endless questions that have arisen from what Rafe divulged. I get the connection with Adrian’s father and mine, but why me? In fact, why my mother?
What my father was doing was obviously dangerous—it got him killed. But if Rafe’s to be believed—and I believe him with every fiber of my being—it was a necessary evil he knew wasn’t without risk. He was doing what he believed was right, and I refuse to let his death be in vain. But why did they have to take her, too? And after everything Adrian said that day in the car about protecting me, I’m more confused than ever.
Is he truly like his father, as Rafe believes?
Or was I in danger and he was trying to protect me?
“This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
His voice has been resounding in my mind for days as I rack my brain, trying to uncover what he meant.
“You weren’t supposed to live.”
All logic tells me that he meant the night my parents were killed. I was supposed to be home, but I wasn’t. Why though? What threat could I have posed?
I look across the couch to where Rafe is completely engrossed in my father’s file. He’s wearing reading glasses, which give him a distinguished appearance that is very