on how much losing her is going to hurt.
“Tomorrow’s the day,” I say, giving her one last hug.
“Tomorrow,” she repeats with a dreamy expression.
I look over Stacy’s shoulder and lock eyes with Ryan, sitting at a table across the room. Tomorrow takes on a whole new meaning in my mind. Tomorrow is the wedding—the end of the reason Ryan came to visit. Tomorrow, the carriage will turn back into a pumpkin.
Ryan’s eyes beg me to let him take me home, but I shake my head.
Enemies or not, I am still June, and he is still Ryan. Our lives have taken different paths, and they don’t intersect. I refuse to let a man break me again. No matter how many figurines I could set on his ab shelves.
Chapter Sixteen
June
The moment my eyes pop open, I think wedding day.
I should be happy for Stacy—and I am—but I’m also bummed because I can’t help but wonder if Ryan will go home right after the wedding or wait until tomorrow. My stomach sinks at the thought of repeating one of my least favorite days: graduation day.
I know for a fact that Ryan flew out on a red-eye that very night. How? Because I went to Logan's house in search of him later that night. I think my professed plan was to stab him with a butter knife for humiliating me. But really, I was secretly hoping that he would change his mind and finish the kiss he’d started. When I got to the house, though, Logan's mom gave me a sad look and said that Ryan had already left for school.
My first thought was WHO LEAVES FOR SCHOOL AFTER JUST GRADUATING FROM SCHOOL?
My second thought was that Ryan had told her to say that so he didn’t have to see me again. His version of sorry, can’t, I’m washing my hair. It made me hate him more.
For years, I seethed, thinking that Ryan had flicked me off his shoulder like a piece of lint he never wanted to see again.
Now, I know he was going off to start his culinary training in France. I wonder if I had known that back then, would it have changed anything? If I hadn’t forbidden Stacy and Logan from talking about Ryan the day after the almost-kiss of doom, would I have been in love with him all of this time instead of wishing on every shooting star for his shampoo to magically get replaced with Nair?
It doesn’t matter now.
It’s Stacy’s special day, and that’s all I need to focus on.
I roll over and grab my phone and shoot her a text.
JUNE: Do you hear that sound????
STACY: What sound?
JUNE: WEDDING BELLS!!!!
STACY: *Gif of old lady dancing in the kitchen*
JUNE: *Gif of a couple French kissing*
STACY: Hey, do you have my green jumper? I need it for the honeymoon.
JUNE: Why? You don’t need clothes on your honeymoon.
STACY: June…bring the jumper. You’ve had it for like six months.
JUNE: CRACKLE CRACKLE CRACKLE. Bad service. Can’t hear you. Sorry!!!
Stacy’s out of her mind if she thinks she’s ever getting that jumper back. My phone buzzes again, but it’s not Stacy this time.
RYAN: Want to get an early lunch later before we have to go to the church?
I throw my phone on my bed and avoid it for the next ten minutes. I brush my teeth. I throw on my running clothes and tennis shoes. I tie my hair in a ponytail and fill up my water bottle, all while avoiding the phone on my bed at all cost. I’m Frodo Baggins, though, because I swear I can hear that thing calling for me from the other room even though the volume is not on.
By now, I’ve formulated a very eloquent piece of literature in my brain, explaining all the reasons why I can’t go with him to lunch. It centers around my heart and my hurts and my fears. I lay it all out in a way that will help Ryan see and understand me better.
And then when that thought scares me too much, I shoot him this little gem.
JUNE: Can’t. Sorry.
He doesn’t respond. And I jog for twice as long as I normally would, forcing myself to go until my lungs squeeze as painfully as my heart at the thought of losing Ryan again.
It’s go time.
I expect “Eye of the Tiger” to start playing when I step into the bridal suite at the church, loaded down with all the essentials for a best friend’s wedding day. There’s a box of Darlin’