welcome and preferable to the hurt that had been her constant companion during the trip.
The weather for mid-December was chilly but not unbearably so, which meant he’d chosen to ride his horse rather than sit in the coach with her. Obviously, her hope that he actually wanted to spend time with her was nothing more than wishful thinking on her part.
But she was done with that. Enough was enough.
When he glanced at her, she deliberately turned her back on him and smiled at Lillian. Never mind that her lips felt stretched and tight from the action. Was it any wonder that she was out of practice smiling when her husband never did?
“Thank you for having us.” The time had come to focus on herself and her own enjoyment of the holiday. That started with spending as much time with Lillian as possible during their stay. If all went well, she would hardly have to see the Dour Duke. Obviously, that was his preference.
“We’re so pleased you accepted our invitation.” Lillian’s brow crinkled as if she were puzzled by Eleanor’s expression, but she was too polite to question it. “I’ll have you shown to your chamber so you can rest.”
“No need.” Eleanor waved a hand in dismissal. “The journey was relatively short.” She glanced about, doing her best to take her thoughts from Douglas. “Have the other guests arrived?”
“Most will come on the morrow.” Lillian looked over Eleanor’s shoulder for a long moment then looped her arm through Eleanor’s and pulled her toward the stairs. “Why don’t we have tea in the drawing room, and you can tell me about your plans for Christmas.”
Eleanor assumed her look had been for Burbridge with the silent communication some couples used as she heard the two men following them up the stairs. “We don’t have any specific plans, though I hope to see my mother and father at some point.”
She’d asked Douglas what his traditions were for the holiday, only to be told he didn’t have any. What sort of answer was that? Left with no other option, she’d spoken to the butler who confirmed that Douglas didn’t celebrate Christmas other than providing gifts for the staff on Boxing Day. No greenery, no Christmas tree, nothing. Even worse, Morris had advised that while Douglas’s mother had attempted to note the holiday, celebrating Christmas abruptly ended upon her passing. The realization that his childhood had been empty of the lovely memories she had of the holiday made her heart hurt.
Whether that meant Douglas didn’t want to do anything special to mark the holiday had yet to be determined. Christmas was one of her favorite times of the year. Her parents had always made the twelve days of Christmas memorable. Eleanor intended to do the same, though perhaps that wouldn’t be necessary until they had children. Celebrating by herself seemed pointless, but she would decorate and plan a special meal at the very least. Wouldn’t it be better to ease Douglas into the custom year by year?
Lillian gestured for Eleanor to sit on the settee and settled on the long sofa directly across from her.
Burbridge joined his wife but of course, Douglas remained standing behind Eleanor. Heaven forbid he be in proximity to her.
“Don’t you want to take a seat?” Lillian asked him.
“I prefer to stretch my legs after the ride here.”
Eleanor couldn’t help the renewed hurt that tightened her chest. Why had he suggested they come if he didn’t want to spend any time with her? Surely he knew they would be expected to act as a couple. She did her best to keep a mask of polite interest on her face—anything to keep Lillian from realizing how upset she was.
Was she truly nothing more than a means to an end for him? Her fortune mattered, but she didn’t? As much as her parents had wanted this marriage and for their daughter to become a duchess, she knew they wouldn’t have forced her to marry Douglas if she hadn’t wanted to.
She had made the choice. All because of what she thought she saw in him. The way he held himself apart with a wary watchfulness as if uncertain of his welcome. The way he watched her as if he found her intriguing. She’d thought his solemness would be countered by her joyfulness. Honestly, her attraction to him had colored her expectation of what their marriage would look like, setting it too high.
With each day that passed, she worried she’d made a mistake. Somehow, she needed