hoped.
If only she hadn’t seen glimpses of the real Douglas during the house party. Glimpses that had made her fall deeper in love with him.
“Your grace, Lady Amelia Beaumont asks if you’re receiving.” The footman waited at the door of her small sitting room off her bedchamber.
Though she didn’t feel ready for visitors, Lady Beaumont would be the last person who would prod her for a reason for her return to London without her husband. “Yes, please show her to the drawing room and have tea sent in.”
She set aside the embroidery she’d been working on and rose to smooth her skirts. After a moment’s consideration, she dismissed the idea of changing. Her friend wouldn’t care what she was wearing.
“Lady Beaumont, how kind of you to call.” Eleanor reached for her friend’s gloved hands and squeezed them, realizing she truly was pleased to see her.
“I heard you were in London, and since I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye at the house party, I thought I’d call.” She curtsied, her smile warming Eleanor.
“I’m so pleased you did.” Eleanor gestured toward a chair, noting the fire was already burning brightly, lending a cheery atmosphere to the room.
She hadn’t made any changes to the house or the other houses except for requesting a thorough cleaning. Improvements to the estates and fulfilling the tenants’ needs came before updating drapes and upholstery. Especially since it was unlikely they’d be doing much entertaining. “I requested tea. I hope you can join me?”
“That would be lovely.” Lady Beaumont settled into the chair, her posture perfect as she held Eleanor’s gaze. “I was surprised you returned to the city so soon. I thought it might be well into spring before we met again.”
Eleanor hesitated as no response came readily to mind. She supposed it was best if she commenced with pretending everything was fine. “Rothbury is busy on the estate, of course. But I had some commitments here that I wanted to take care of.” Heaven help her if Lady Beaumont inquired what those were.
“Of course.” She nodded though a wrinkle marred her brow as if wondering what those might be this close to Christmas. “I wanted to thank you for your kindness during the house party.” A delicate blush rose in her cheeks. “You see, I’m still becoming accustomed to being Lady Beaumont. If you had suggested last spring that I’d be having tea with a duchess, I would’ve laughed.” She shook her head. “Or cried. I was in desperate circumstances and my life could’ve taken a different direction than it did.”
Eleanor drew a slow breath, realizing the same could be said of her. She had more in common with Lady Beaumont than she’d realized.
“Several ladies have made it clear they don’t approve of my background,” her caller continued. “But you didn’t. Thank you for that.”
The heartfelt words brought tears to Eleanor’s eyes. Odd when she’d been so certain she didn’t have any left. “The pleasure has been mine in coming to know you. My situation has a similarity to yours in that not everyone thinks much of my lineage either.” If it weren’t for her father’s fortune, she wouldn’t be sitting here at this moment.
“But for the grace of God...” Lady Beaumont offered a smile.
“Indeed.” How ridiculous that she was feeling sorry for herself when so many were in more dire circumstances.
“I hope you didn’t allow Lady Elizabeth or anyone else’s remarks to bother you.”
“Which ones? That Rothbury wouldn’t have married me except for my dowry? That I’m nothing more than a broodmare? The Dour Duchess?” She waved a hand in dismissal but had to swallow against the lump in her throat. “It’s all true. And the truth is supposed to set us free, isn’t it?”
Lady Beaumont leaned forward, her gaze holding steady on Eleanor. “Is something amiss?”
“Nothing time won’t solve.” How she hoped that was true. Surely in the years to come, the pain of her broken heart would ease.
Then again, she’d promised herself to remove ‘hope’ from her vocabulary. Wishful thinking had only caused harm. She needed to put others before herself and focus on the good deeds she could do in her position. As soon as she could gather the strength and determination to do so. As soon as Christmas had passed and her longing for more in her marriage had faded.
She would give herself until the day after Christmas to grieve for the loss. Then she’d stop feeling sorry for herself and begin a new life. One without her husband,