right.
Meredith collapsed on top of me around midnight, and I’d followed suit an hour later.
If the clock is right, it means that I’ve somehow managed to get five hours and fifteen minutes of sleep. A full fifteen minutes that I haven’t been able to secure in years.
Reaching over to the nightstand, I pick up one of my burner phones—convinced that I’m not seeing this shit properly. Refreshing the screen, again and again, I slowly accept that it’s real.
I’m not sure what to think of this…
Slowly slipping out of bed, I tuck Meredith under the silk sheets and step onto the balcony. Opening a box of Cuban cigars, I lean against the railing and light one, puffing an “O” against the darkness.
There’s only one asshole left on my list, and as meticulously as I’ve planned for that day, I never planned for what comes next. I’ve always looked at my list of properties around the world and thought, “I’ll step away from what me and Trevor built in New York City for a while,” become a bachelor for a few years, and then take my time deciding what I want to do next.
Meredith has changed all of that.
I’m officially in uncharted territory with her, and the ship can only be steered in one of two ways: On ship one, she can return to her life of being “Meredith Thatchwood” with me, and I can come up with an intricate plan to get her life back in New York City. I’ll have to get her out of out any media hailstorms, away from any and all suspicions. That plan will take eleven weeks, though. At least.
On ship two, she can continue living her life in the shadows, never speaking to Gillian, her former coworkers, or anyone from her previous life again. She can play the role of a new character in whatever city she chooses, pick whatever backstory she pleases.
I’ll be there for whichever one she chooses, but I can’t help thinking that she won’t be completely happy with either.
I puff another “O” and hear the soft sound of footsteps behind me.
“Did you get any good sleep last night?” Meredith walks over to me. “Even if it was just an hour or two?”
“I got a little more than what I expected,” I say, noticing that her eyes are red and puffy, that there are tears streaming down her face.
What the hell? “What’s wrong, Meredith?”
“Nothing.” She smiles through her tears, her voice soft. “It’s the same thing that always hits me. Today is my mom’s birthday, so…I apologize in advance if I burst into tears here or there.”
“I’ve told you that you never need to apologize for that.” I put out the cigar, pull her into my arms as she burst into tears again.
I debate whether I should let her know now, if dropping another emotional bombshell is the right thing to do.
When her chest starts heaving up and down, and the tears begin to fall harder, I decide to go for it.
“Meredith,” I say, wiping away a few tears before grabbing her hands. “Meredith, look at me.”
“I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it…” She shakes her head. “I still think about her every day.”
“You don’t have to get over it…” I wait until she’s looking up at me. “Meredith, your mother never really passed away…”
“Excuse me?” Her expression immediately shifts to anger and she glares at me. “What did you just say?”
“She’s not—”
“I’ve told you time and time again that she drowned,” she says, “And I’ve told you that I hate hearing people say that she’s ‘in a better place,’ or that ‘she’s still here with me.’ She’s dead, Michael.”
“No.” I shake my head, looking right into her eyes. “She’s dead in the same way that you’re dead. Turns out, someone else had a change of heart when he was contracted to kill her…She’s very much alive, Meredith.”
Her jaw drops to the floor. She sucks in a long breath, looking like she’s about to hit me with a barrage of questions.
‘Wait.” I press a finger against her lips before she can say a single word. “I found this information out days ago, but I need you to trust me on it, one hundred percent. I can’t take you to see her now, and we can’t even begin to get to her for another few months, until we figure out if you’re going to remain missing or stay alive as your old self. You’ll have to decide what you want, but