Ashwin shuffles back from Deven on his elbows. “Kalinda is aware of her actions. I’m not forcing her to stay with me. This is her choice.”
Deven leans over Ashwin and grabs the front of his tunic. “Keep your hands off her.”
Ashwin yanks himself from Deven’s grasp. “Touch me again, General, and I’ll have you imprisoned.”
“Both of you stop it!” I say.
“I’m not your general,” Deven grits out. “I won’t serve a man I don’t respect.”
“Deven,” I breathe. “You don’t mean that.”
He retreats from Ashwin, his arms and fists bunched. “I serve you. But if you continue to align yourself with this boy . . .”
“You’ll denounce me too?” The challenge slips out of me testier than I intended. But the thought of him coming between Ashwin and me . . . I need Ashwin’s warmth.
Deven draws up to his full height. “My apologies, my queen. You’re free to do as you wish.”
He revolves and marches out.
“Deven, wait!” I hurry after him, but he whisks ahead. In my effort to keep up, my limp worsens. We venture down corridor after corridor, and I quickly lose my bearings. I ignore the pain in my leg for as long as possible, but when he is nearly out of sight, I double over. “Deven, please.”
He pauses and stares over his shoulder at me, his flinty expression split by shadows. “How long have you and the prince . . . ?”
“We became friends in Iresh,” I say. “What was said at supper about us was for the datu. He’ll aid the empire so long as he thinks Ashwin and I are committed.”
“Then what was that just now? Were you practicing your commitment?”
“That was . . .” A mistake. But my excuses will only serve to bruise him more deeply. Telling him Ashwin’s closeness acts as a balm for my wounds is ridiculous. I cannot understand the oddity of our connection myself.
“Are you in love with him?” Deven questions, eerily calm.
I hug my torso, trying to strangle the cold inside me. My need for heat is paramount, unquenchable. For whatever reason, Ashwin answers that necessity. I cannot deny he has some hold over me. “No, but we . . . we need each other.”
Deven drops his chin, his jaw twitching. “I told you once that I won’t stand by while you spend every meal, every public showing, at another man’s side. I told you I want you by my side, and I still do.”
“And I still want to be there.”
He lifts his gaze and searches me for sincerity. I meant what I said. He must see that. But bleakness enters his voice. “I won’t interfere again. When you decide what you want, I’ll be waiting.”