“He angered me sometimes . . . but mostly he made me sad.” Ashwin pauses and then whispers, “We were both a disappointment to each other.”
I do not share his rationale. “I hope Tarek suffers an eternity of darkness for taking Jaya from me.”
Ashwin leans back until we are eye level. “Tarek hasn’t taken Jaya away forever. Have you heard the tale of Inanna’s Descent?”
“Once.” Non-deity myths were not part of my studies. I am in no mood to listen to childish stories, but Ashwin wants to cheer me up, so I oblige him. “Inanna went into the Void to search for her lost intended.”
“Her intended was not lost. A demon seduced him. Demons have corporeal bodies like you and me, though they’re monstrous. This particular demon had the power to assume a mortal form.”
Much like the power Ashwin gave the Voider when he released him to fulfill his heart’s wish, but he brushes over this similarity.
“The night before their wedding, the demon took the form of Inanna and entered her intended’s bedchamber. Trusting the demon was Inanna, he went off with her into the evernight.” I settle closer to Ashwin, his voice a mild rumble. “The next morning, Inanna donned her wedding robes and set off to be married. She waited at the altar all day for her intended, but he did not come. Jilted, she returned home and locked herself away. She refused to see anyone and could not find the strength to change out of her bridal attire. Many nights later, she woke to find her intended at her bedside. He could not step out of the dark, nor could she light a lamp without him fading. He had traveled by shadow to tell her he was trapped in the Void.”
Traveled by shadow. Ashwin once told me that when the day was made, so was the night. When man was made, so was his shadow. The Void dwells in darkness, and life dwells in light. Can spirits in the Void, both living and dead, travel into the mortal realm so long as they stay in the dark? Is that how Tarek came to me? “I never understood how Inanna’s intended visited her.”
“Numerous sources cite that mortals trapped in the Void are confined to the dark. They can visit our world at night, but they must return to the realm below during the day. Inanna spent every night with her intended. But she could not bear to leave him in the dark for eternity, so she descended below to find him and came upon the first of seven gates. Each guardian required a toll for her passage and to point her in the right direction. Inanna paid with the clothing and adornments of her wedding attire. After the final gate, her torchlight went out. Inanna feared she would be lost in the dark forever, but she sensed her intended was close by. Following the promptings of her heart, she found him near death. She had to get him out, but she could not see the way. Inanna cried up to the gods, but none would listen except the fire-god Enlil, who had a weakness for mortal women. He took pity on Inanna and sent her an ever-burning ember to light their path back to the mortal realm.”
Ashwin skims his finger under my chin. His voice gentles between us, a silky caress. “Love bound Inanna and her intended together and gave them direction in the dark. If their love can overcome the Void, so can yours bind you to Jaya in this life and the next.”
Tears blur my sight. I did not think a tale could lessen my sorrow, but Ashwin’s storytelling and assurances soothe me.
The mood between us shifts. The intent of his touches changes from comfort to one of need. His hug becomes more for him than me, and his heart beats faster.
I should pull back. Push him away. But his nearness calms the blizzard inside me. I am not parching his soul-fire. He is bequeathing it to me.
Ashwin settles his forehead against mine, his gaze trained on my mouth. His thumb brushes over my bottom lip, and my stomach bubbles like hot springs. His breath smells of cinnamon. A craving for more of him ripples out in a wave. How much warmer would I feel with his lips on me? I tip up my chin and wait for more of his light.
“Kali,” Deven says.
He stands in the doorway, his emotions progressing from disbelief to hurt. Ashwin’s arms fall from around me, and my teeth clack together, snapping me back into focus.
Deven crosses the chamber and throws Ashwin to the floor. “You have no honor! You’re taking advantage of her loyalty!”
His fury shocks me. He rarely reacts without forethought or context. “Deven! I was upset and—and Ashwin found me.” I reach for him, but he brushes me aside.
Natesa and Yatin run in from the other room in their nightclothes and draw up straight.