The Rogue Queen(24)

“Kalinda, I will not see my empire fall. Tarachand is my legacy.”

Every pain he caused me fires off inside my head and heart. I want to let the past go, put all this ugliness behind me, but my memories shackle me.

“Your legacy is of fear and hatred.” My hands burn brighter. Tarek cringes, and his indistinct form begins to fade. “Go away. You’ll find no mercy here.”

He peeks out from behind his blurry fingers. His haunting voice roughens. “Kalinda, I still love you—”

I hurl a heatwave at him. His hazy shape shatters into a thousand oblivions that shower down, hit the floor, and disappear.

Light. I need light. Shaking all over, I rush around, lighting every lamp until the chamber is aglow. I slump down onto the bed.

I still love you.

I rap my fists against my head to bang out his voice. “Leave me alone. Just leave me alone.” In the abrupt silence that follows, my clarity sharpens to an unbearable point. “I hate you,” I whisper to him, wherever he may be. But my abhorrence is irrelevant. To the gods, our marital bond ties my soul to his. I will be Tarek’s wife for eternity.

Someone touches my shoulder. I whirl around with my dagger, and Ashwin lurches out of striking distance. “It’s me.”

I drop my blade. “You snuck up on me.”

“I knocked before I came in. Are you all right? You’re shivering.”

“I . . .” Not knowing where to begin, I start to cry. Ashwin enfolds me in his arms. I clutch him close and rest my cheek against the hollow of his neck. A steady current of heat flows off him and into me. “You’re so warm,” I push out from between chattering teeth.

“What happened?”

“Tarek was here.” My tears flow faster. “Why couldn’t Jaya have visited me? My soul should be tied to hers, not his.”

“Kali, you’re making no sense. You saw Tarek?”

“He was a shadow, but it was him. He said—he said—” My voice hitches, and I press my cheek hard against Ashwin’s collarbone. He rubs my back, his heart drumming near my ear. “Do you think I’m bound to him forever?”

“No one can rule your heart, not even the gods.”

“But our matrimony vows—”

“Marital bonds cannot last past death; otherwise every marriage in every life would be honored. Think of the tangle of nuptials.” He runs his hand down my hair. “As I understand it, souls aren’t bound by wedding vows but by love.”

I swipe my forearm across my damp nose. “Tarek repulses me. Don’t you despise him?”