no need for emotion to play a part. He would never have to be drawn into love again, nor into the hurt that love could produce.
"I've thought about it often," he murmured. "How I took that one chance with you, not using a rubber, when I never had before. Was that my body's way of insisting that I get on with life? Or am I making too much of a basic sexual urge?"
"You thought I was on the pill."
"That's never been enough for me not to take other precautions."
"I found out that the pill doesn't always work when you're on antibiotics," Amanda admitted. "I should have known."
"I'm sorry I blamed you." He laid a hand on her bed. "I should have been less judgmental. I knew you well enough to know you wouldn't trap anyone like that."
A nurse walked into the room, pushing Laura in a plastic cart on wheels. "All set," she announced cheerfully. "Does anyone want to hold her?"
The eagerness in Logan's face made Amanda want to cry again. He wanted someone to love so badly.
"Let her dad hold her," she said softly. "I've had her for almost nine months."
Logan took the baby carefully. His big hands curved gently around his daughter.
"She's so tiny," he said, his voice low. "So vulnerable."
"She's your future."
He raised his eyes to hers. "What if I can't protect her?"
"There are no guarantees. You're not God."
Logan leaned close enough to wrap an arm around Amanda. He lifted Laura in his other arm. "Look at the miracle we made. It's impossible to feel any regret now."
A few tears leaked from Amanda's eyes. "Do you mean that, Logan?"
"Of course I do."
"I want you to be in Laura's life." She turned her head to look into his eyes. "But I could never expose her to you if you didn't love her. If you believe you can't, please let us go. We'll be fine."
"I'm terrified of loving her," he admitted. "I swore I would never allow myself that emotion again."
"I know that now." Amanda wanted to cry in earnest, but she wouldn't do it. No wonder he'd always tried to push her away. She understood now, even if she didn't like it. He'd learned that love could carry a huge emotional price.
"But I've learned a lot since you got pregnant," he said quietly. "Mostly I've learned how I feel about you."
He looked into her eyes with the strong, steady gaze she adored. "I love you," he said. "Can you give me another chance?"
She clutched the sheets, trying to ground herself against the hope rising in her heart. "A chance for what, Logan?"
"For all of it." His half smile touched his lips. "Love, marriage and the baby carriage."
Amanda gasped. "Marriage?" she squeaked. Where had that come from?
Logan looked surprised. "What did you think I wanted?"
"Sex?" The word emerged without conscious thought from her.
He grinned. "That would definitely be part of it. Hell, the second I laid eyes on you, I wanted to bend you over my desk and fuck you. That hasn't changed."
Amanda stared at him. "You did? You sure hid it well."
"I don't wear my heart on my sleeve." He pulled her tighter. "I don't think I ever will. But I hope you know, every beat of my heart is for you."
Epilogue
One month after Laura's birth, Amanda, Logan, and the baby made the move back to Manhattan on a beautiful fall day. They stopped once on the trip from Cape Cod so that Amanda could nurse Laura. Logan and Felipe went into the rest area and returned with snacks and hot coffee. Amanda enjoyed the cozy pleasure of holding Laura, smelling her sweet baby scent, and listening to Logan's deep voice as he talked quietly on his phone. When Amanda was finished, Logan turned off his cell and held Laura, while Amanda buttoned up her shirt. Logan's gaze on her was hot.
"It's a good thing I love that baby," he said. "Or I'd be jealous of her."
Amanda giggled. "You're good for my ego."
"Your new boobs are good for my imagination." He settled the baby in her car seat and then sat next to Amanda, wrapping a strong arm around her and pulling her close. "I have a surprise for you." He signaled Felipe that they were ready to go.
Amanda snuggled against him with a sigh of happiness. "Another one?" He'd already surprised her with a small wedding on the Cape one week after Laura's birth. Her mom and Julie had made it home just in time. "Is it