cause me to annul this perfectly lovely wedding.”
He turned to her on the wall. “You deserve a real wedding. Befitting the daughter of an earl.”
Helena stuck her tongue out and made a gagging sound. “I deserve to know what great horrible secret you harbor that will drive me away.” She made the gesture of her fleeing in terror.
Another silence. He turned away, studying the stones of the wall.
“You are mad, Declan Shaw,” she said, “if you believe there is anything you can tell me that will drive me away. I love you.”
“I haven’t told you, because you’ve enough of a struggle already. It is out of love that I haven’t told you.” He pushed off the wall. His playful mood had dissolved, but he held tight to her hand.
They began to walk.
“You knew it would come to this,” said Helena. “You knew I would insist.”
“Yes. That is—I didn’t think one way or the other. It took effort to find Father Thomas. It is why I stopped searching the park. If we meant to do it, I had only this afternoon to arrange it. I allowed the details of the priest and the church to carry me away. I didn’t want to reckon with . . . with your relentlessness.” He glanced at her. “But I am inclined to tell you. I am so bloody exhausted from telling you no.”
“On this, we are completely agreed.”
“Fine,” he said, pulling her down the street. “We have several hours before sunrise. We’ll keep to the shadows, we’ll keep our voices low, and we’ll walk. I will tell you.”
They walked half a block, and he said nothing.
“If you’re trying to frighten me,” she said, “it’s not working.”
He leaned down and kissed her once, hard, and then again harder. “God, I love your courage,” he said. “You will need every ounce of it.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Perhaps, Declan thought, he’d always meant to tell her tonight.
Deep down.
If she demanded to know, and if she went so far as to marry him, he might as well tell her the stakes.
He’d done his part and given her a way out. After she knew, she would stop asking to consummate the marriage.
He took a deep breath. “When Titus Girdleston hired me—No, let me go further. The reason Titus Girdleston hired me is because I was incarcerated in Newgate Prison. That is, at the time.”
“What?” she asked. “What time? When was this?” She stopped walking. He tried to release her hand but she held on.
“The day you arrived in London,” he said. “I came to Lusk House from my cell in prison.” He spoke to their joined hands. “I am an accused felon—not convicted, but accused. Girdleston hired me for money, I’ve said this. But he also holds the threat of returning to prison over my head. A sharp ax he threatens to drop.”
He looked up, bracing to see fear, revulsion, disgust.
Her green eyes were bright with . . . excitement?
Oh God. Well, he thought, at least he always had that.
She asked, “But in prison for what?”
“Nothing I did. And if you believe that, you are among a very small group. But it’s true.”
“I do believe you.”
“I’ve been accused of kidnapping a young noblewoman,” he said.
“No.” There was heartfelt pain in the word.
Declan nodded. “A client of mine went missing, the woman I mentioned at the Wandsworth market. Knightly Snow.”
“The girl you were hired by St. James’s Palace to escort to France?”
“Yes. It all happened very quickly. Too quickly.” He chuckled bitterly. “One moment I was being summoned to the palace to meet with the sons of the king, the next I was en route to France with this volatile young woman.”
“And she—what? Opposed you?”
Another chuckle. “If only. She was difficult, but she never challenged me. If we’d gone toe to toe, I believe I could have made her see reason. No, it wasn’t her. Or at least I did not believe her to be the opposition. The palace hired me to take her away, but what they really wanted was for me to get rid of her.”
“As in . . . kill her?”
“Probably,” Declan said. “Which perhaps she knew. I would have never done it, but maybe she ran away because she feared for her life? I cannot say. I’ve not been allowed to investigate what happened because they tossed me in jail.”
He thought about the night he was summoned to the palace and his meeting with the brothers of the future king.
“The royal dukes have denied that they wanted her killed.