of my closet to face my sister. I’m half afraid the words will spew from me like a kettle boiling over.
“Does this look right?” I smooth my hands down my slacks and command myself to act normal.
Bree looks up from where she sits cross-legged on my bed. Her back is propped against the wall, and she’s sipping a glass of red wine with an expression bordering on reverence.
“God, this is good Pinot. Totally worth having to pump and dump.” She studies me over the rim of her wineglass. “You look gorgeous,” she says slowly. “But, um…don’t you think it’s a little dressy for visiting a farm?”
“I have no idea.” I look down at the shiny black slacks I’ve paired with a crisp white top. It seemed appropriately casual at the time, but I’ve clearly misjudged. “My only farm visit was that time we stopped by Jade and Amber’s on our way home from that doctor’s appointment, and obviously that was with you and not—”
“A hot guy, I see your point.” She smiles and stands up to set her wine on my desk. “You look beautiful, but I think you’ll be more comfortable dressed down. Do you have any flannel? Or maybe some regular jeans that aren’t so fancy?”
I hold back a fierce wave of disappointment. I’ve been in America nearly a year and ought to have figured this out by now. “I don’t have any flannel.” I should probably remedy that. “I have blue jeans, but they’re old and faded and—”
“Perfect.” Bree turns me around and nudges me back into the closet. “Go put those on with a plain T-shirt if you have one. I’ve got the flannel in my purse.”
I gape at her. “You brought me a flannel shirt?”
She smiles as she rummages through her bag. “As a mom, you learn pretty quickly to carry the solution to a thousand potential problems in your handbag. Besides, I had a hunch you’d need it for your farm date.”
Cheeks flaming, I turn and march back into my closet with as much pride as I can muster. “I don’t think it’s really a date,” I offer weakly. “Just a chance to see some animals.”
“Uh-huh.” Bree’s voice sounds as convincing as I feel, which is to say not at all.
I unbutton my shirt and place it back on the hanger, frowning down at my plain white bra. Should I wear something nicer?
Stop it. He’s introducing you to farm animals, not his penis.
The giggle bubbles out of me before I can stop it.
“You okay in there?” Bree calls.
“Fine. Perfect.” I hurry to find the jeans, wondering where I put them. “Just getting dressed.”
“You know, I really love having you here.” A clink from the other room tells me Bree has reclaimed her wineglass. “And I love how much happier you seem. Like you’ve always been here.” A pause, likely as she sips her wine. “Like you’ll always be here, which I will selfishly admit is what I’m hoping.”
I shiver and pull the jeans down off a high shelf.
If she only knew.
“That sounds nice.” I hurry to tug on the well-worn denim, feeling naked and exposed. I pull up the zipper and turn to study myself in the mirror. My mother would kill me for wearing faded blue jeans.
The thought fires a secret thrill through me.
Mark’s wife, Chelsea, gave me the jeans when I helped plant flower bulbs in their garden. I tried to give them back afterward, but she insisted I keep them.
“I like knowing I gave you your first pair of regular jeans,” Chelsea said, lightly touching her belly. “Besides, I won’t be able to fit into them pretty soon.” She smiled then and raised a finger to her lips. “Don’t tell.”
It took me a moment to get it. “You’re—”
“Expecting, yes.” Her smile flashed bright enough to blind me. “We’re telling everyone at dinner tonight.”
I couldn’t believe it. The inclusion, the confidence, the sweet simplicity of that secret.
What would she say if she knew I’m the last person in the world she should trust? As I adjust the jeans on my hips, I kick myself for pretending. For trying to fit in when I know deep down that can never happen.
With a sigh, I turn and survey my shelves. I don’t have any plain T-shirts, but there’s a pretty blue one with the Ponderosa Resort logo on the chest. I pull that on and emerge from the closet to see Bree holding out a flannel shirt striped with hues of blue and pink