my God, what if they come back? Oh, shit. Oh, hell.”
“Duuuuude,” W2 says in response to my freak-out, while Dyl merely nods and says, “I’ll go lock the doors.”
As she leaves, W2 holds a hand out to me. “C’mon, let’s get my boy Smith off the floor.”
I eye him warily, wondering what’s happened to him since this morning when he was threatening to sue and basically ruin my whole family.
“Don’t leave me hanging, Lennie,” W2 says, giving his hand a shake.
“Umm,” I say. “I need a minute down here to recover. Sooo . . .”
“Oh, I get it.” W2 nods knowingly. “You think I’m still mad about the balls. But look, I don’t hold grudges and also that whole wish thing worked out okay. Turns out all the equipment works the way it should, if you know what I mean.”
“I know what you mean,” I quickly answer, not wanting to hear anymore.
But W2 keeps going. “Yeah, I thought if the boys were steel, the piston wouldn’t pump anymore, but Dylan was like, ‘How do you know it’s broken? Have you given it a test run?’ And I was all, ‘No, I haven’t, but you’re welcome to.’ Foreplay, you know?” W2 winks at me and I try not to gag.
“You and Dyl did not hook up,” I say, praying I’m right.
“Hey, hey, hey, that’s personal,” W2 protests, which immediately tells me that nothing worth bragging about happened between them or else he’d be doing so right now. “But I’ll tell you this. Everything down here”—his hands draw a big round circle around his crotch—“is working the way it should. Seems like the boys are only encased in steel. Sorta like M&M’s, you know? Melts in your—”
“Hey, look! Smith’s waking up!” I announce in my loudest voice. This is finally enough to shut W2 up.
Even better, it’s true. Smith is groaning softly. “Hey,” I say quietly. He blinks a few times, as if trying to focus, and then his gaze settles on me. Our eyes meet and he sorta smiles, almost like he’s relieved to see me.
“Lennie, hey.” His voice is low and husky. That half smile already had my heart flip-floppin’ around in my chest like some poor fish gasping for water. Hearing him say my name in that way only compounds the damage.
“You’re awake,” I say stupidly.
“Yeah,” he agrees. Then his free hand finds mine and we simply hold hands. Both of them. One pair because we have no other choice. But the other . . .
“Dude!” W2 sticks his head under the table. Instantly the mood is shattered into pieces so small they disappear entirely. Our free hands slip apart. “You gonna hang out under there all day? You scared of the bad guys? No worries, bro, I chased them away.”
I whirl to face W2. “Dylan chased them away.”
“Dylan’s back?” Smith sits up and looks around. “Where is she?”
“Right here.” Dyl steps into the room as Smith and I slide out from under the table. “Sorry for bailing. I needed some time to work stuff out.”
“With W2?” Smith asks doubtfully.
Dyl shrugs and looks away. Smith opens his mouth as if to say something else and then closes it again. We stand there for several moments in awkward silence. Well, Smith, Dylan, and I stand there in awkward silence. W2, oblivious to anything that doesn’t concern him, hums while hunting through the cupboards. Finally, he slams his hands on the counter.
“There’s nothing to eat here, man. And I’m starving. Lennie, they better serve food at your dad’s bar.”
“What are you talking about?” I snap.
“What am I talking about?!” He rolls his head around in this really obnoxious way, like he can’t believe what I’m saying. “Lennie, c’mon already. The dude wants to see you, and if he’s got people like that working for him”—W2 jerks a thumb in the direction of the back door Benji and Jules just exited through—“he’s probably gonna get his way eventually. It’s time for a power move. You go to the man and say, ‘Look, Pops, no need to send your minions, I came here alone to face you mano a mano.’ Then he’s looking at you like you’ve got some balls of steel. WHUT!?!” W2 swivels his hips so we can all hear the gentle ting of the metal between his legs. “That’s my new catchphrase, by the way. Balls of steel. WHUT!? Awesome, right?” I open my mouth to answer in the negative, but W2 is clearly all amped up by his victory